All Comments on 'Debbie and Me'

0

maybe a bit too tongue in cheek , no ?

go beyond one page to get to the punchline of this joke!

Part of me kinda liked it, in so far as that you tried something, and it mostly worked.

Mostly though, basically, I had to finish this little flash with a groan. I've never heard a knock-knock joke funnier than this story, but even so, I usually groan just in much the same way when I hear one.

Outside the realm of humor, I was distracted by the overriding questions:

Why did he sit down to watch?

Why did he want Jamal to finish?

Why didn't he use the gun on her (you know, in a threatening way, while kicking her whoring cunt out)?

How could he be so anti-cliche in his confrontation with her, when he actually thought he believed that "love" could change the town slut?

How had he convinced himself that there was ever any hint of "love" anywhere possible from her?

Damn, you crafty bastard!

You made me think, and wonder.

Fuck, did this story do its job?

I guess 5 stars says it did.

(but that was more for the possible vision of some Peruvian Pole Vaulter finally getting his chance at his very own LW story someday!)

Next time at open mic night, YOU buy the drinks, and then I'll promise to laugh.

But please note that Glocks don't have a safety.

Thanks for an entertaining, well written story. I like the twist, with her lack of imagination being the cause of their demise.

not really my taste in writing or thinking for that matter but gave it a 4

The story itself was sort of amusing....Husband struck me as sort of a Pseudo Cuck(and kind of lame).

the wife is out of character, at least a little. After a few days of marriage, she would not be talking to hubby while being screwed by another man unless she was certain that they had an understanding, and it appears that they did not

It's an amusing flash story, I guess. But it's more of a poke in the eye, Stooges style, than a clever satire.

Loving wives is getting worse by the day. What the hell was this? Can anybody be that stupid. Oh, I forget it's supposed to be comedy. 1*

A very good satire story about men who married whore women...I laugh all the story and the ending was 5 *...Thank you for writing a story so funny, using all the stereotypes of these kind of stories...

Is that it seemed like an opening paragraph and not a complete story. I have WAY too many questions about the characters. Simply not enough information.

This wasn't funny enough to be satire and not good enough to be anything else.

I've read two short stories today and both pieces of shit

Rather predictable and not very witty. Some good lines, granted, but slap-stick sex is just not that entertaining. Suspect you enjoyed writing it, and hopefully that is enough. Glad at least someone had fun with this story.

Liked it somewhat but too short even to be a comedic flash satire.

USELESS!!! GARBAGE!!! STUPID!!!

I lost more brain cells reading this than all the pot I smoked.

DUMB

Plain sorry pieces of unimaginative garbage written by deranged minds.

it was just good clean fun and contains slightly humorous concepts "like one of the Kardashians deciding to sleep with a white guy."

Y'all need to cut old Slapper some slack.

Really good. Loved the style, longer please

There's no way she would have gotten married and who the fuck has that kind of time to fuck and suck for hours? Really, unless there was something wrong with her mentally, she would have called time out a whole ago.

Flowed nicely but the improbability of the dialogue kinda threw me...Think you can be a good writer but this one not to my tastes.

WHY?

Only saving grace (damn small one, too!):

The stereotype was addressed in the text! Nice touch.

3*. (woulda been a 2 without the DSSG.)

Made me laugh! Thanks!

...and so too is the cuckold. It is a well known fact white women prefer Negro men!

what can/will happen with Deb-ella. TK U MLJ LV NV

Probably should be in humor or satire BC the anon dickwads think they decide where stuff belongs...still,funny as hell,thanks

There is no safety on a Glock that you slide on or off.

thanks for the offering.

I am glad I didn't waste any time on a long story. This was such a piece of crap I can hardly believe anyone actually wrote it.

4 stars for effort

I probably shouldn't have but I did. Not bad. 4 stars (3 for the work, one more for making me enjoy it more thank should have).

Am I to infer that he would have shot any of those other stereotypes. Kind of a long bar joke in my opinion.

Good little flash tale. Anyone who didn't take this tale as it was written must be in the cum-licking cuck department. Continue the good work.

Ha

Now, if it were truly a big black blob from outer space he should have forgiven her for taking advantage of a unique opportunity!

As others have said, comedy is sometimes difficult to get across. I got a laugh out of it. Four stars. Now I haven't read all the comments but a note to you and a note to all authors...GLOCKS DO NOT HAVE AN EXTERNAL SAFETY! The safeties, such as they are, exist internally only and between the persons ears (safe handling). You pull the trigger, it goes bang!

EIN STERN LESS FOR NOT SHOOTING ZE NEGGER AND STICKING ZE HEAD OF ZE WIFE IN ZE GAS FURNACE.

funny. Good work.

But such a very short story can only be rated 4 stars.

didn't mind the cheating aspect, seeing how he did expect it at some time, not that I would condone cheating by either party. I felt the same way the hubby did, in that at least she could have found a burner with a brain, instead of a just a live black dildoe.

Funny one.

She got what she deserved and the blog left running away.

but I wonder who won the poll. TK U MLJ LV NV

Unfortunately he was dumber than a stump which didn't particularly make for a good story.

wrong category. if this was in humor it would be good.

Facebookprofile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

Factual true life cheating slut wife serial cheater

Lost colloge instructor job when she told one too many people she was scerewing students.

3rd husband knows but just whimpers and keeps pressing soild painted to face oooo she cut him off years ago

What entertainment value is a story that is totally predictable from the first paragraph? Better luck next time. I am hoping you can bounce back. My comments on this one story may not sound like it, but I am really rooting for you.

White is symbolic of the first (and hopefully only) marriage. Some less cultured or educated seem to equate white with the Catholic 'white' connection to purity which some also then connect to virginity (though even educated Catholics don't make that association with a wedding dress).

Originally, because white clothing was not terribly practical, it was a sign of opulence and wealth, since it was an expensive garment that probably would only be worn once. (That part at least, has hung on.)

The idea that everyone there was laughing about it made all the guests seem like uneducated yokels. (I'm guessing your point was that the people at the wedding and in that area in general were back-woodsy types who subscribed to that white-virginity thing, and also assumed as long as you only had sex with family members, you were still a virgin.)

Okay story though . . . just kind of odd that virtually all the wedding guests were that clueless.

Seriously. Only complete yokels and maybe 99 percent of the rest of the population would connect a white wedding dress with virginity symbolism. Obviously they all just came up with this weird random thing on the spot, rather than realizing that white clothing in a wedding is solely a symbol of opulence - like grandpappy's finest wifebeater. Which is, of course, why the groom traditionally wears all white as well.

That is, unless the wedding takes place after Labor Day, but let's face it. If they schedule an after season wedding, they're most likely paupers.

You actually wrote this dibble?????? REALLY????

REALLY ARE PATHETIC!!!!

ROFL

I enjoyed the hell out of the humor, but that caused me to redefine this as in the wrong category, so no, you can't win...

We the readers will find a way to cut you down (even if the story was humoristically good - grin)

SMOKE

A fun story.

Probably should stick with stories of faithful wives. They're much better than this.

Nice touche at the end

As far as I'm concerned she was a cheating wife. So the genre is correct.

And I enjoyed the whole package.

I don't know how he remained so calm, but he certainly brought a little humor to the situation. That was fun, but I'm not entirely sure why...

You tucked a cliche. No truer words ever written here.

I don't know if this story qualifies for one of my Literotica favorites, but it is FUNNY!

Four stars!. ****

Little creativity?? Priceless!!

Marry a slut and you get what you deserve!!! VD!!!

Got to love a story that ends with a joke...no creativity. Well done. Thanks

Loved it, Strapper! Fun story!

Funny this is 4*

Unique. Excellent. *****

Funniest line I’ve ever read in all of Literotica: "I'm not divorcing you because you cheated, Deb. No... I'm divorcing you because you fucked a cliché."

Lmao that’s the shit right there

Jamal is always a big dumb useless cliche. True that.

Lame as Hell Any smart Cracker would have at least capped a plug in this Guys Balls simply for banging His wife

None.