by FinalStand
Deeper into the Greek! Love the Black Hand interaction, and bringing the Mountie back into the mix. I will say there are a lot of unresolved threads running, but all in all, excellent work!
Hate to be pushy.....but how soon is next chapter ready?
Retread2
Well played FInalStand for this to appear on Thanksgiving morning. I am well pleased.
I thank you and await more of your outstanding adventure.
You need to publish this shit. On the one hand, it's ridiculous on a lot of levels. On the other, you could probably sell tens of thousands of digital copies.
Loving the dialogue in this episode...I had to choke down load guffaws repeatedly. Such a delight this story. No idea how you could ever finish it though!
FinalStand, this is really a piece of work and I mean this in a very good way. I am having a blast reading it. I hope you are having a blast writing it.
Thanks
Like always an amazing chapter . Cael & Pamela are gifted , they can transform a saint in a mass murder with their jokes , but better Javiera warn the agents who deal with them don't be to cocky because it won't be 7 - Up , maybe if they send 6 or 7 agents .
"Prendre soin de mon amour"
The above sentence sounds all kinds of wrong. I'm not a native French speaker, but "Prends soin de toi--même, mon amour" would be my choice. Don't use Google Translate to show off language knowledge you don't have. It doesn't work.
A bonnet is a convertible top, the trunk is a "boot". Just so you know. BTW, love your work!
Another comedy of terror, FS. Your writing brings a whole new level of meaning to the concept of 'laugh riot'.
As for annoyingmousie squeaking complaintives about your abuseage of Gaul. "O'n chagere thioplougene gris'muo sho."
gain all of his knowledge of pop culture? I doubt he has had time to watch tv or a movie since his teens with all the, exhausting, lady time he (puts in). And every one of the references in the lie were fairly nerdy, no offence, making it hard to believe that Pamela had read/watched them also.
Still love the story. * * * * *
I've been getting a bit confused for the last three or four chapters. The story is getting quite complex nd there is a huge number of characters. With weeks being between chapters, it's getting quite complicated to remember everyone. I had completely forgotten about Ajax and it was only on the second page that it was mentioned once, that he was in the vision of the seer. That the woman with him is one of the Amazons Cael is looking for I pieced together myself based on that.
It would be really tremendously helpful to get a quick reminder who everyone was when a character from previous chapters shows up. In the previous chapter was a character named Rachel and I have no clue who that is. Just two or three words with every character as a reminder would already help a lot.
I thought that the part of a vehicle that UKians call a "bonnet" is what us USians call a "hood". But yes, what we refer to as a vehicle's "trunk" is what they refer to as its "boot".
I am always anxious to read the next installment to see in which direction the story will veer. It's funny how the muse will strike and take a writer into new territory, will he or nil he. So far, this story has been magnificent. If this is where your muse is riding you, I can only hope you get rode hard and put up wet!
Please continue with this story so long as you have the interest and will to continue. You will have at least one reader that really enjoys your work.
FS's story is full of details. Re-reading the chapters one right after another helps. Rachel is the head of Cael's personal body guard of Amazons. I think the girl you are thinking of that is part of Ajax crew is a Princess of the Amazons that died before the current houses were formed. If Cael gets her back it will be another "Cael is Awesome" moment. Becouse Cael is not looking for her. He is looking for heirs of Arinniti and Illuyankamunus. Alkonyka is of Illuyankamunus the house that has a dragon for their Patron as Cael has Isharra as a patron. If I got this wrong it is my fault and not a reflection on FS who writes these awesome chapters.
when you next publish this story I was mighty confused by the luggage in the bonnet - valkswagen stopped putting the engine in the back a long time ago. The trunk is the boot (that's where 'The Boots' used to sit in the old cars before personal servants became passé.) The Bonnet is the American Hood - essentially different words for a head covering.
I was amused by the beer from a distillery but decided this was your warped sense of humour at work.
You are correct. Bonnet is the hood. boot is the trunk. I stand corrected, and thank you.
...you just keep throwing more of it at that fan, huh? Effing brilliant, you are.
That's perfectly good French. It doesn't mean "take care of yourself, my love". It's more like "take care of my love, that I have given you". In other words, he has her heart, please don't break it.
Cliuin, that was a pun worthy of FinalStand!
I hope all is well in your world with you and yours. As usual, I check every day for another chapter to this tale. I would like to thank you for the effort that you have put forth in creating this story and for posting it here for my enjoyment. It really is the bright spot to my week when a new chapter is up. Thank you.
Ok once you think you have this figured out another turn happens that is like a fucking 2x4 to the face that makes you rethink what is about to happen. A lot of shit has happened and honestly I could see some of it really happening. Other stuff not so much.
But I have to ask why isn't HBO or some other group knocking at the door and trying to buy this?
Anyways keep up the great work. Now after reading this I can get back to writing my own stuff again.
This chapter is a departure from how grim some of the recent chapters have been. Not that there isn't a place for grim. How can our hero protagonist, Cáel Nyilas overcome the dastardly deeds of nefarious inhabitants of the nether regions, if said dastardly beings are at home knitting?!? No it has to be bountiful bandoliers full of bullets, bioengineering bio weapons, and backstabbing all the backs, and sides, and fronts and legs and arms, feet, heads, armpits, and especially the heel.
I have re-read the whole series several times already. I think if there was a break in the series to split it into books it would probably be somewhere in the chapters 13-15. Cáel just starts to get his professional relationships into a more healthy (mentally not physically), when some of that good old, old world madness plops Cáel into the head of house and kills off his dad. 16 would make an odd start to a new book but 15 is a nice resolution with things looking up for Cáel before things fuck right back up in 16. 13 (the beating of the ass of Felix) would be a nice climactic moment but there is the whole ash men subplot already started and not resolved until 15-16.
Anyway this is a serial series and was never meant to be split up. I just amused myself with thinking about it. The story so far has clear arks, where it moves from one sort of story to another, it just does not have moments where all the loose ends are tied up except the ones that lead to further intrigue, and those get restated again both at the end of the book and again in the next. Instead the story has a web of foreshadowing and skulduggery is fairly thick throughout. As one plot ends to others two are still up in the air and then a third one starts.
I like a read that tests my intelligence. That said, anytime the story goes out of order it gets a bit confusing to me but I understand framing the story differently would be really difficult and not necessarily better.
TLDR
Just wanted to leave a comment that was not another "when is the next chapter", the second you post a new chapter. Not that I don't want to know, but asking has an implicit request to hurry it up, when you are already writing at a frantic pace, and that just seems poor etiquette to me. :D
"Of course there isn't a bomb on board the damn boat. I'm being chased by fifty mercenaries and bad shit is going to happen to me and six hot chicks if they reach that ferry," I related.
What about Ms. Jurassic Park? (aka Pamela)
Lol seriously the only story I've read that's better is three square meals.you rock dude don't ever stop writing
-steve
I have to agree it's sound so wrong. First in Québec "mon amour" was used a lot in songs with the baby boomers generation so the gen X and yonger will associate the therm with old people and don't use it. To be honest I have never heard a girl born after 1960 used the therm " Mon amour" in the province of Québec.
In the 80's, the therm was kind of view has been associated to the dependencies toward a man and was a no go for the new independent woman. Don't know for the rest of the planet. A big big sign of dependant to run away from fast.
That said, if FinaldStand wanted to have a dependant, insecure in love that will do crazy things if you cheated or just dump her for someone else like creating false accusations, that the perfect term to use.
In place of "Mon amour" a girl will use a "qualifiquatif" or a nickname to make it personal for the guy.
So yes it sound all kind of wrong for a Québécois.
Has for the form of the sentence first look is weird but yes it's good and will be translated to "take care of my love".
Again big sign for run away dude, run fast and don't look back.
In general, persons becoming GRC/RCMP officers are posted outside the Province they live in for at least the first 10 years of their career. There are likely exceptions, but generally, a Quebecois Mountie would be posted in the Maritimes, out west, or up North. The theory is that someone whom is not local will be neutral and not play favourites as someone from the area might.
Mind, it has been several years since I last spoke with someone about it, so things could have changed.
Now, if she'd joined The Sûreté du Québec (usually called the SQ in Quebec, and QPP everywhere else)...
This story is just as good as "Three square meals", only a LOT more humorous, and way more relatable. I have never laughed so much, or so hard, reading Anything on Lit. before today, and I don't believe i ever will. Whatever source you draw inspiration from, FinalStand, may it never run dry, and may your writing obstacles be few, and far between. Bless You😂
It's unfair to both Life as a New Hire and Three Square Meals to make a comparison.
LAANH would be a sucky TSM. Conversely, TSM would be a terrible LAANH.
I'm a fan of both. The world is big enough to hold *two* good stories, after all :)
... thank you both. If I can ever get my head together, I should really read TSM then, shouldn't I?
James aka FinalStand
I really like TSM's storyline but the writing isn't nearly as good as yours.
I would agree that “It's unfair to both Life as a New Hire and Three Square Meals to make a comparison.” BOTH are really good stories AND the cover different areas.
Personally, I laugh MORE and learn more about combat and weapons with LAANH. OH, and wisdom about the mysteries of Women - Amazon or not. Grin
With TSM, I laugh and learn more about Space Weapons. ZAPPPP boom. (Wait, is there a Boom in space? :) )
There is enough room (in this universe) for BOTH!
May you greet your ancestors “before” they learn what you’ve done! 😳
- pal
I need a jumbo pack ‘cause I am laughing way to much and may develop bladder problems.......
That’s more like it. But the parlay with Reborn Ajax as just plain stupid. Beware of Greeks baring gifts, you’d think Cael would remember that. Trust the King of Salamis, never!!
Remember how he died?
5/5