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Swinger's New Ad
by Sparky Kronkite

Hi all - Marcy and Paul here....

As any of you who've read our stories and checked out our Author Profile, under the nick-name Sparky Kronkite, here at Literotica knows - my husband and I write our stories together. And you would know that they are all based - to some larger degree - on reality. The reality of our own sexual adventures. Sure, our stories have been exaggerated a bit but for the most part, the basic elements within the stories are singularly steeped in truth.

You would know too that we are Swingers, Lifestylers, Adult Erotic Adventurers - whatever term you might wish to use. We tend to simply think of our choice of lifestyle as, "mature adult, mutually respectful, sexual fun." But then again that is a mouthful, isn't it? Swinger's is an easy word.

So, we have some ads running out there on a couple of the most popular Internet swing sights and to tell you the truth, for one reason or another (of which we remain clueless) we weren't getting much action. Ours was a typical ad, a few sentences about what we were looking for, with a heading something like many others, "NYCupL4U" or some such bullshit type of thing.

As stated - zippo - not much action. And we must admit too, that we're highly selective, very picky. Not that we really think we're all that great or anything, it's just that comfort, being at ease with another couple, is really what anyone is looking for when they desire to hook-up with another couple for adult carnal fun. So, the few who did answer - well often they left a bit to be desired. Or, they lived too far away. Or, etc., etc..

You might ask what puts us at ease? What makes us comfortable? Well, what puts us at ease, what makes us most comfortable is - people like ourselves. If one has a good self-image, if one likes oneself (as all happy, well adjusted people should think of themselves) - then why wouldn't one be most comfortable with others - who happen to be like you? Why wouldn't one want to have sex, with essentially, themselves? But not themselves.

Now this is not to say that we wish to bed partners exactly like ourselves, hell no. The key words in that last paragraph were (and we quote ourselves) - "a good self-image, as all happy, well adjusted people should think of themselves." That's all we desire - other things like skin color, upbringing, education and occupation "can and often do" play a part in who people are and what they have become but those factors do not wholly indicate exactly who and what people are like. And therefore we do not ignorantly prejudice ourselves in that way. But yes, we do have priorities in our desires for sexual partners - and the overriding priority is - a good, healthy, self-esteem. Everything else in the package is quite negotiable.

We also felt that our initial did not provide enough details up front - believe us - a lot of time was wasted, eventually going nowhere, just finding out the details. So we decided to risk the old adage no-no of being too lengthy and putting in some details.

And that's the very way we were thinking when we rewrote our ad. Here, for your interest is that ad.... It starts with a "LET'S GET THEIR ATTENTION" bunch of humorous bullshit - had to keep it short and sweet - here goes.... The ad....

PS - of course we don't use Marcy and Paul on our ads - security you know...

WNTD - Twin, Afro-Am Albino studs for wife's ultimate fantasy DP!!!

Just kidding folks!

HEADLINE: Tom_Jill and tomjill2 rewrite "best ad ever." Now it's the "bestest ad ever."

(Attention: We are rewriting our ad to provide the most specific and succinct information on who we are and what we want. Sorry it's a bit long, please attempt to enjoy. Please read thoroughly and carefully.)

Item A - Photos and Other Basics -

1)Our digitally degraded photos are thus for obvious security reasons. Call us paranoid, but we have great jobs and don't want to take that risk. (We're jealous actually, would like to participate but can't go there - yet anyway.) 2)All replies to our add will be immediately (or ASAP) be responded to with a clear set of photos. Sorry, we don't initially solicit with our clear photos but promise to send ours when we get yours. 3)We provide to you "straight" photos only, again for security reasons. 4)We only need straight photos from you - it's the face and general body build, it's more the person, that we are interested in. (If you really want to send body parts, feel free but we are interested primarily in your face.) 5)We really need to see "the guy." Our female half of this partnership has full veto regarding these matters and for her "the guy" is the cornerstone of a successful fun time. Yes, ladies she does enjoy women but not when her husband doesn't do it for her/to her too. Again, guys - faces please. 6)We are not, not, not, not photo collectors - this we promise you this. 7)We vastly search, primarily for couples but are interested in sincere and special singles of either sex. Singles, you must be very, very special. 8)No cheaters please! We are not interested in the illicit swinging couple or straying, getting' it on the side single. 9)We believe strongly in "swing etiquette" - particularly, "no pressure to swing." And safe sex of course.

Item B - This be we, this be us, this is our general description -

1)Committed, married couple. Mid-thirties, educated, professional, kinda white'ish but only in skin tone, not mentality. We're very, very (one more very) normal (with a capitol N) couple, that's in all outward appearances. When you see us - you'd think that we'd be normal folks. Yet, philosophically we're pretty adventurous. 2)We're only New Yorkers now, the past few years. We're mid-west/southerners, transferred here by the man. 3)We're Irish blooded and therefore - we look Irish - go figure. 4)We have fit/average builds, tall, light skinned and light haired. A few freckles. Hey we look real good, just not super hard bodied perfect. Again, regular people. 5)We like a slight alcohol buzz but never get sloppy. Wine, a little tequila, a cold beer - add naked bodies, good music, turn the lights down low, then add a hot tub - what-a-ya-got? Boom, sensual fireworks. 6)We don't smoke and prefer non-smokers but hey, if you're cool about it, it can work. 7)We simply like to have fun - all the normal stuff - dinner, dance, live music, theater, movies, sports. Hobbies? Reading, writing (we're both poets of sorts), guitar and bass, motorcycles.

Item C - Logistics -

1)We have homes in Manhattan and Fairfax Virginia. We are mostly in Manhattan though. However, no matter where you live, you are invited to respond to our add. Who knows when one might be visiting NYC or DC and want to try to arrange for some special adult fun. 2)We both have large families and children. Playing in our home most often proves difficult. So, even though they leave much to be desired, "Lifestyle Clubs" are relatively easy for us. We would much prefer regular groups (large we would hope) meeting in someone's home. Others of course can and have worked out for us - so don't be tepid - we'll see. 3)We do have transportation. We mention that because many in Manhattan don't. 4)We are very busy folks with demanding jobs and family activities. We are very luck to schedule this kind of special, erotic activity a few times a year. Please, if you are interested in us or have compassion toward our "life situation" - please be patient with us. 5)All our computers, a very important side of both our professions, are tied to our corporate mainframe - even our home units. Hence our security concerns. So again, please be patient with us, we can only access certain files (our photos) from certain locations but "we will get back to you." We promise.

Item D - Experience, ours and yours -

1)We are experienced, about 5 years now. But we are not "swing sluts." We couldn't be even if we wanted to be - too busy. We tend to prefer the same. Hard core, chain smoking, whisky breathed, gold chained, over tanned, pot bellied and hunch backed, over aged swingers who swing every other weekend, don't necessarily turn us on. Although on rare occasion, they just might. (Hey, it's a voyeuristic thing, yah know?) We've been to a few clubs up and down the East Coast, have had couples over a time or two and been to Hedo II. 2)First or second timers - unless they are very, very together (which we kind of doubt is possible) - are generally not preferred. It's simply nerve racking, and for both parties. Nobody needs that. All parties, all participants "need to want" to do this. Without relaxation there can be no fun.

Item E - The Ice Breaker, a suggestion -

1)We own a Sybian Saddle, it's a very expensive (very expensive!$!) ultra-vibrator for the ladies. It's nearly guaranteed to produce multiple orgasms in most women - endlessly (until you switch it off or pull the plug) - it's really something. We would love to share it with you. 2)We do not sell or have anything to do with professionally promoting the Sybian Saddle. It's just fun. 3)Note: The Sybian Saddle can be a great ice breaker on a relatively cold first meeting. Even if things don't necessarily click between all parties present and physical contact between those parities is destined not to happed - there's still the Sybian to share. So all would not be wasted. And besides who knows what will happen during a Sybian demo ride. So, for the brave of heart, what have you got to loose - dare to ride the Syb.

Item F - Our stories, written by both of us, are on - literotica.com - under the nickname - Sparky Kronkite - please check'em out.... You won't be disappointed.

That's Our New Ad - find it at - http://www.sexyads.net <http://www.sexyads.net>

That is all. Ask us anything. Tom_Jill or tomjill2.

PS - when responding please remind us of you "handle."

* * * * *

That's the end or our ad - pretty wild huh?

Well, what do you think? Let us know.... It's been working so far....

Details to follow in Part II...

Later.... Sparky Kronkite aka Marcy and Paul

 

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