I really enjoyed how you showed Grace's internal monologues to be so exhaustingly analytical. Unusual in a female main character and very well done. Made her all the more endearing.
It's good, 5/5, although there is a BIG plothole that bothers me.
They marry, her brother goes to the wedding. However, it's 20 years later that he learns who the brother is. He was at the wedding!! Was he wearing a mask? Does it usually take 20 years in the US to meet the brother-in-law? He surely would have asked at the wedding who the famous brother was.
It should have happened way earlier. You could have told that scene as a flashback, if you wanted to place it at the end of the story.
Fun story. I enjoyed that they were able to set aside their past “types” and get out of their own way to happiness. Too many people are both the protagonist and antagonist. In their own story. Thank you.
A good attempt from a LW legend. Where it goes south for me is the "act first, think later (if at all)" approach of Sandy to Mark (and, apparently, others) shows no change throughout the tale. Indeed, her intended purpose in the final scene is to heap public humiliation upon him for crimes only her over-wrought imagination can contrive. Meanwhile, Mark shows the patience of Job while repeatedly coming to the rescue, figuratively and literally, of this basket case.
Yep, why settle for crazy when you can go for full-bore, bat-shit crazy? Who wouldn't want to wife that up?
Latest 15 Reader Comments
The Trevor character was a complete ass. Kate and his family showed far too much leniency for his juvenile antics.
Good job!
Great story, over the top….. would make a great Hallmark movie.
Thanks for writing.
ruined with mob angle
Too slow
I really enjoyed how you showed Grace's internal monologues to be so exhaustingly analytical. Unusual in a female main character and very well done. Made her all the more endearing.
It's good, 5/5, although there is a BIG plothole that bothers me.
They marry, her brother goes to the wedding. However, it's 20 years later that he learns who the brother is. He was at the wedding!! Was he wearing a mask? Does it usually take 20 years in the US to meet the brother-in-law? He surely would have asked at the wedding who the famous brother was.
It should have happened way earlier. You could have told that scene as a flashback, if you wanted to place it at the end of the story.
Good enjoyable, story. It read like a 1980’s TV show, good to have a happy ending. Thanks for writing
Fun story. I enjoyed that they were able to set aside their past “types” and get out of their own way to happiness. Too many people are both the protagonist and antagonist. In their own story. Thank you.
5 Stars!! FANTASTIC story!!
Thank you this story was greatly enjoyed. It could have developed into a series.
Following your prompt, I can assure you that your writing gives great pleasure, and please write more. Details to follow.
A good attempt from a LW legend. Where it goes south for me is the "act first, think later (if at all)" approach of Sandy to Mark (and, apparently, others) shows no change throughout the tale. Indeed, her intended purpose in the final scene is to heap public humiliation upon him for crimes only her over-wrought imagination can contrive. Meanwhile, Mark shows the patience of Job while repeatedly coming to the rescue, figuratively and literally, of this basket case.
Yep, why settle for crazy when you can go for full-bore, bat-shit crazy? Who wouldn't want to wife that up?
It was hopeful. Not necessarily needed to elaborate.
what a great extended group of friends you have