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Latest 15 Reader Comments

So Satisfying 🙂

Absolutely one of the best and most absorbing stories on the site by a gifted story teller.

Damned good

A good story, very well told.
I think you got into the feeling of the pair and the result was 'genuine'.
Thank You
HP

Really need an editor.

And not just for grammar. The structure is all over the place. 3* keep writing.

Gripping.....

..... story ending for the two lovers and their angel. Hoping for the best. Superb writing.

Lovely Story

This was one of the best stories on this site and very well written. I do agree with some of the other commenters that bring Brooke into the story really put a damper on the overall theme of Shawn's control over Gloria. Gloria sounds like a dream come true plus she began to come along and enjoy Shawn's control over her which brought out her submissive side. Many avenues are open to continue the adventures of Shawn and Gloria (Mrs Mills). So don't let this opportunity drop to keep your fans interested in this great story. Could even get into more exposure of Gloria sexually and doing things that may not be within her likes, but she will do it to keep Shawn interested in her overall. Keep writing this story, many chapters ahead.

PLEASE JOIN THE REAL WORLD

SHE HAD ALREADY PERFORMED SEXUAL ACTS WITH " THE GOOD SAMARITAN " ( ARSEHOLE ) SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM THAT AFTERNOON BUT SHE GOT CAUGHT ! OH AND HER SISTER IS " A REAL GOOD FRIEND " , SHE KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED THAT NIGHT AND WHAT DID SHE DO ? SHE CALLED A FAVOUR IN .WHO NEEDS FRIENDS LIKE HER----SHE'S AS BAD AS THE WIFE !

Really Enjoyed It

Like all your stories this was a pleasure to read. Loved the characters and the few twists that you threw in. 5 stars without hesitation. Thank you.

No clouds

I am actually in the mood for further "blue skies" so I don't mind if this remains a lovely weather story to th end.
Thank you again for your pleasant stories

Good story

Really enjoyed the story and how you developed the characters. I feel like there could have been more to this story though. Felt rushed in some parts. From a writing standpoint there were quite a few grammatical errors that required me to re-read a paragraph or statement. Overall, nice job.

Adore "my Italian grandmother's ass"!!

But I'm "bumping" (our Nashville songwriters word)
on "one dead."

For me, she'd ask, immediately.
Waiting for the later letter on the table
seems like an artificial literary device.
(AND YOUR trump card is how natural your characters feel.)

Thank you

Thanks to everyone who voted or left a comment. Especially the comments. This story is too short, as several pointed out. Little of the character backstories that were in my mind made it to the page. I focused on the transition to starting a family and the erotic elements rather than character motivation. I was so focused on shipping this first story that I fell victim to premature epublication. I hope to do better next time. -AR

Holes you can drive a semi through.

Yeah, it's fiction. But a little research would help. Recovery for a liver RECIPIENT is 4-6 months. For the donor, 4-6 weeks. Also why was Tammy never tested as a donor. It was important and you never brought it up. Also why did Jim give up involvement in the life of his FIRST BORN SON so casually? That just made no sense at all, yet we are supposed to accept him as a great guy and father figure. Still 3*, keep writing.

Great and fun story!

This has been a funny story, very romantic and with all the handicaps that can lead to the fact that both were military and that Lin was an officer and Andy only a corporal.
Big surprise with David, who would have guessed he was gay?
Too bad the story is over, or maybe not?
5 * for you.
I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

An author response . . .

So I debated on whether to respond in here. People can like or dislike my stories and life goes on just fine.. Everyone has preferences, no big deal. But I do feel the need to point out two things.

1) This story has no lesbian sex in it. In the future? Maybe. But not this chapter.
2) Apparently the person upset read a 7,600 story without reading the 138 word introduction where I literally said "You could argue at least three other things here, so I will say that there are elements of exhibtionism/ voyeurism in here, some bicurious/ lesbian tensions, and some straight out heterosexual erotic couplings. But the direction of this is romance and love . . . So, that’s what it is."

The big lesson here? I always put in my introductions what to expect. I encourage you to read those. I am not a fan of the Literotica categorizations because a story generally isn't about only one thing, but I understand people want certain types of things. Thus please read the short introductions to be sure you know what you are getting. And my apologies if I ever produce something that is not clear.

Great Start?

Very interesting story. I think it has great possibilities for more chapters, should you decide to go in that direction, which I hope you do.

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