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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Check it out!

I loved the story and thought it would have a longer story. But it was fantastic!💓 And 💔 as well.

This is fucked up, yet...

... sweet (in the good sense, not the sarcastic/snarky teenaged sense).

Good psychological drama.

Can’t help but feel sorry for Ginny and Andrew.

5-stars & “Favorite”

My 2 cents

A very nice story. I enjoyed the read and enjoyed the way he took charge of figuring out what the problem was and correcting it instead of going out and getting drunk. I liked the characters and the flow of the story. It is very easy in a relationship to get in a rut especially after some years. It is up to both sides to keep the spark alive and be honest with each other. Thanks for your time and imagination.

New reader

Seduction is the first of your stories I’ve read, now I’m hooked, I’ll have to read the rest of your stories. Thank you for your entertaining us.

Nice!

5-stars

This story needs a second chapter

Great writing! Great story development and continuity! This story deserves a second chapter
burninglove

Thank you

3-18-19

Thanks everyone for all your comments - constructive criticism makes for a better writer, even if it isn't always praise...

I wrote this story over several months during a time of extreme duress in my life,
- writing is, in my opinion, an escape as well as a vehicle for inner self discovery, and it proved to be so during the creation of this fictional piece.

Some of the characters in the story are fictional and some are (were) real people and even though I had a general outline of the story, at it's conception, I still hadn't worked out all the details when I began writing, historical dates, times, places, etc.

Just start writing and the story will tell itself - I profess.

Initially I had planned, at story's end, to be involved with the character "Karen" , a delightful and sincere lady that has immersed herself into her professional career as an avoidance to dealing with her own emotional turmoil of divorce. A physically attractive and sensual lady, Karen is still trying to put all the pieces back together within her own world and although finding the character "Tim" intriguing, Karen is far from being ready to open her heart to anyone at this stage of her life.

Accordingly, as often seems to be the case with real life, the lady "I set-out to get" (Karen in this case), eventually becomes a life-long, dear and trusted, platonic friend, whereas the woman which I pay the least attention to somehow becomes an intricate part of my life - enter Andrea Millhouse.

An extroverted, compulsive and energetic, over achiever, Andrea Millhouse is a person that "Likes to go fast!" and from all outside appearances, pretty much has things within her own sphere "under control." Her physical beauty isn't lost on her but something she spends little time contemplating. As with Karen, Andrea's marriage has long since ended in failure and thus, shaking to the core, her self esteem and her own belief system regarding romantic relationships - emotions she is able to neatly avoid with vigorous physical exercise and a social event calendar full of appointments. After a lifetime of hard work within the Real-Estate industry Andrea is looking forward to an early retirement of travel, leisure and dabbling in Real-Estate whenever she feels like it.

The more that I began to explore the character "Andrea Millhouse" , the more I became intrigued with her until she finally jumped off the page (or monitor in this case) and seduced me, whether intentional or not on her part, I'm not really sure. I suspect it was a combination of both, and I am a sophisticated enabler. Seemingly when many of us don't want a relationship we find ourselves within the whirlwind of a wild and out of control romance. Andrea Millhouse and the character "Tim" would not appear to be at all compatible which logically suggests that they would be perfect for one another, in all of their imperfections...

Literotica is a fun way to express one's own thoughts and fantasies of being an actual writer, it is unfortunate that a piece cannot be edited, once posted as I would now have entitled the piece "Stony Brook," upon it's completion. But as Andrea Millhouse would undoubtedly say

"You're over-thinking things again, Tim."

Maybe she'd be right...

Excellent

This is a great story. I think it lends itself to another chapter.

Wonderful

As surprised as I am, I love it when I find a new writer like Bebop3 who writes complicated and fulfilling stories, not simple vignettes. Took me too long to find you. It is my pleasure to now anticipate reading your entire ouvre.

Needs an editor

The story has potential but it rambles on too much. The dialogue also needs a lot of work. It was a good effort.

Less

A six chapter story that could have been told in three maximum.

Totally

Totally unessary for the story.

Continuity errors in a brilliant masterpiece!

"... got on my laptop... " But the laptop was 'hopelessly broken' ! I know it is a minor comment but it still bothers me!

The main story though flowed very smoothly and I loved the way it worked out! The characters were well fleshed out and the pace was good.

But the ending was very rushed and incoherent! It looked forced and in many ways spoiled a well developing attachment to the story! I hope you work on it and ensure that the endings are a bit more fleshed out or at the very least, written at a good pace!

J. Jamie Dupane

I gotta say...

...there aren’t many writers who can make teaching how to run a combine harvester interesting, but you did it.

Great story. Thanks for that.

More, please.

Romance???

a story about 2 man whores and 2 sluts...

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