I favor the recited version, though a slightly better audio quality would help there. The pause between the title and the poem feels a bit long to me.
What makes the audio version my preference also happens to be my favorite line of the entire poem: "tasting your skin your skin your skin"
Your reading of that line conveys the feeling of the whole piece in just those few words. It's hard to imagine that anyone couldn't relate to that feeling in that moment.
Aesthetically, I don't care for the indents here. I don't have anything against indents generally, but something about them in this illustration isn't working for me. I can't quite put my finger on why (I'm not expert on this) but it doesn't feel balanced. Though, perhaps that's what was intended.
Over all, I enjoyed this piece, and I think you did a good job creating the mental images and emotions in it.
curves of satiny thin skin '....one more fix of your soul-strippin' screams -----outstanding phrases & figures of speech , emotions , feelings ---5-ed !!
[ because of the dark illustration couldn't read directly from screen very clearly --later took a printout & appreciated your fine work ]
as fear of sound and slash. TK U MLJ LV NV
Immortal Line worthy of Dante himself !!
Much too adorable....! Cheater! :-). Putting a cute kitty in there is just too much. Gotta rate it now. Rotten stinking...guh! Wish I had thought of it. Let it be a lesson to all who read this comment...
Never underestimate the power of cuteness!
those must sustain me till we touch anew. TK U MLJ LV NV
Your poem feels deliciously honest and is well-written. The Graphics; smart and Naughty in good taste. Very Well doen.
with each heart beat the flow continues. TK U MLJ LV NV
and those who are about to emerge await. TK U MLJ LV NV
live by a rigid set of rules. TK U MLJ LV NV
I liked it showed feelings
so all can apprehend. TK U MLJ LV NV
Haiku is 5-7-5, yours is 5-7-6
Dengue spreading mosquito !?!
T.G.I.F. wandering minds use your own alphabet, TK U MLJ LV NV
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