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If I have to choose...

I favor the recited version, though a slightly better audio quality would help there. The pause between the title and the poem feels a bit long to me.

What makes the audio version my preference also happens to be my favorite line of the entire poem: "tasting your skin your skin your skin"

Your reading of that line conveys the feeling of the whole piece in just those few words. It's hard to imagine that anyone couldn't relate to that feeling in that moment.

Aesthetically, I don't care for the indents here. I don't have anything against indents generally, but something about them in this illustration isn't working for me. I can't quite put my finger on why (I'm not expert on this) but it doesn't feel balanced. Though, perhaps that's what was intended.

Over all, I enjoyed this piece, and I think you did a good job creating the mental images and emotions in it.

" dreamin' of the convex curve above your arse " ...' Backs of your thighs morph into

curves of satiny thin skin '....one more fix of your soul-strippin' screams -----outstanding phrases & figures of speech , emotions , feelings ---5-ed !!
[ because of the dark illustration couldn't read directly from screen very clearly --later took a printout & appreciated your fine work ]

YET THE LASH RARELY STRIKES

as fear of sound and slash. TK U MLJ LV NV

"discordant hell of disrepair" is an

Immortal Line worthy of Dante himself !!
5-ed .

okay...that's cheating!

Much too adorable....! Cheater! :-). Putting a cute kitty in there is just too much. Gotta rate it now. Rotten stinking...guh! Wish I had thought of it. Let it be a lesson to all who read this comment...

Never underestimate the power of cuteness!

Sincerely,
Payenbrant.

TOUCH ME IN THE MORNING AND EVENING

those must sustain me till we touch anew. TK U MLJ LV NV

Delicious

Your poem feels deliciously honest and is well-written. The Graphics; smart and Naughty in good taste. Very Well doen.

DRIP---DRIP---DROP

with each heart beat the flow continues. TK U MLJ LV NV

THE CHRYSALIS BECKONS

and those who are about to emerge await. TK U MLJ LV NV

THE FERAL ANIMALS

live by a rigid set of rules. TK U MLJ LV NV

review

I liked it showed feelings

SIMPLIFYING A STATEMENT

so all can apprehend. TK U MLJ LV NV

5-7-6?

Haiku is 5-7-5, yours is 5-7-6

Not as terrifying as a

Dengue spreading mosquito !?!

THIS POEMS PUTS MORE SPINS ON THE PHRASE

T.G.I.F. wandering minds use your own alphabet, TK U MLJ LV NV

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