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Thanks for sharing, anon :)


Pretty sure, from the bad grammar and lack of anything resembling attribution, this was written to see what kind of response it generated.

Congratulations. You got people (including me) to say something. Except I refuse to participate for your amusement.


I'm going to start reading these. I'm a little jealous. I wish I could have made the list.


In a week where there has been so little worth discussing (Lit-wise), this essay provides some thought-provoking material. I have a few comments in no particular order:

1) Ladies, your husband isn't watching porn (or reading Lit) because he's tired of you or unsatisfied with his sex life. He's doing so because he's a guy, and that's what guys do.

2) We don't watch porn because we like the way the actresses look. We watch porn because we like what those actresses are doing -- and how they're doing it. We like watching women who truly enjoy sex, who have fun doing it, who can't get enough of it, and are as dirty as we are. This is why we enjoyed having sex with you so much when we first met, and you acted this way. These porn actresses remind us of those younger years. (The same holds true of the slutty, sex-crazed women in many Lit stories.)

3) The worst advice in this article is to schedule sex. Our dissatisfaction with our sex lives has nothing to do with the frequency of sex, but the quality. If you're having sex every other day with your husband, but that sex is limited to you lying on your back stifling a yawn while he's on top of you, you're not helping your cause. Scheduling sex only compounds the problem, as it makes your husband think he's just another item on your "to-do" list of chores.

4) The best piece of advice in this article is the weekly "date night." A couple needs to allocate some time each week to reconnect with each other, away from children, cell phones, and any other distractions.

Just my opinions. Your mileage may vary.

Thanks for contributing this!

Intimacy and sex is the challenge

Liked this essay. Despite what the feminists and left proclaim, men and women are very different. Once you have children women seem to morph into a mother role and sex with their husband takes a back seat to raising the family.. Of course most men will take whatever they can get and whatever their spouse will give.
A wise man once told me that men give love to get sex vs. women who give sex to get love. I think he was very right. Communication is the real challenge and getting partners to understand the value of intimacy and sex.

Damn, I spelll good

Sorry about the typos. It's been two strong ones and I don't give a rats ass about spelling. never had, probably never will.

This is part of the issue -- good job

Life and our own issues get in the way of life with our marriages. I'm guilty of this as anyone. It's not a on one street. It does take two to break it and tow to fix it. Thanks for your effort.


Right on. I have to get this to my wife. Couldnt be better put. I wonder if your a Psych professional or marriage councillor. Thanks!

Great article.

You brought up many valid points and you frame your arguments well!
Women should stop looking at porn as some terrible threat and start looking at it as a means to enhance their own fantasy lives and their sexual relationships.

Hope this helps

Hello! Thank you for your lovely comments all! Luedon, I'm so sorry for the confusion. I hope this clarifies. A Lit Wife is someone who, by not regularly showing her husband affection or allowing sexual intimacy, pushes her husband away. Often, her husband then turns to other outlets. I have no doubt that the Lit Wife would blame her husband for what she terms "cheating." However, I wrote this with the hope that they might 1) recognize they are, 2) recognize their partial (at least) culpability, and 3) work to improve the situation.

I hope this helps.

daylilygardner, you raise an interesting point. Toys would most definitely be allowed during (and are a great asset to) date night. ;)

To the first anonymous poster, thank you for condensing my argument. It really does clarify. I do apologize, however, for taking liberties and having fun with the English language.

To the second anonymous poster, yes, indeed, tit for tat.

Tit for tat

No sex, no shopping, birthdays, cash, marriage, affection, attention, listening ...

Fiction or Fact

If you believe that people can tell the difference, you are wrong. It has been proven that people would rather believe fiction than fact (HTTP://FRANK.JOU.UFL.EDU/CATEGORY/CULTURE/)

Thank you, Athalia

This was a fascinating exploration of the whole subject of erotica, and most welcome. I don't have the skill with words that luedon possesses, but I agree with every word he or she has said.

An excellent and thoughtful piece of work, well worth five stars. Again, thank you.


No electronic devices during date night? How about a remote/wireless vibrator?

Thank you,dear lady, for the first sensible critique of this whole genre. You must be a retired professor of English. Bravo! The Godfather

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