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A good summary of LW

Most of us get married and can identify with the situations described above.
I love to read other's favorites the stories tend to be better than a lot of offerings posted. There are just to many to stories here and my memory has become a curse. Goodhusband does a good job of writing about the wimpy "little fellow" who serves his wife but has limited sex with her, and raises a leval of frustration that I didn't know existed.
Your on the money with revenge I find some scenarios to be very satisfying.
I am fascinated by swinging the ability to share and to know what my other half desires that I don't or can't provide. Imagine all that could be possible besides std's in a situation with other women and for her men. To scorch the earth bare because she took a ride on some other cock I know its not what I would want in real life but in a story I'm delighted and yes I am becoming jaded by all this.

They do teach about hiv and how its spread in schools. Its just that the public school systems teachings of sexual health is laughibly incomplete. Sexual health and the reproduction system come at the very end of the school year after EOCs are taken and school is taken a lot less seriously. I took anatomy and physiology honors in my senior year of HS (which just ended) and they didn't even go over sex and the reproductive system because they were trying to graduate seniors with last min shit, theyre disorganized and used the whole schoolyear to teach for the EOC which had nothing on sex in any form. The whole public school system needs to be done over again. Schools only teach for the test (end of coarse exams) and dont actually teach youth about things they actually need to know for real life. I took HOPE (health optimized physical education) in my sophomore year and again, incomplete, and didnt go over the many STDs one can contract or even how to put a condom on properly or ALL the different types of birth control, i had to go on youtube to find out how to do that when i was 15 or 16 but at that time i wasnt really concerned about satisfying my own sexual needs until i was 15 or 16 (i was a late bloomer). I know everything i do now because i did my own research and my mom taught me some about sex (im a child of a single mother, daddoesnt care for being in my life). Now statistically i should have my own child now, considering my background, ethnicity, socio economic condition, and that im not 21 yet and am not married, but i beat the odds. But some people arent so lucky. In school they dont even tell you go go online for the wealth of info to fill in the gaping gaps school left behind.

Putting aside the little jabs about "offense", rape culture is actually pretty pervasive—and pretty easy to miss if you're a guy, no offense (really, no offense meant—things just aren't as obvious when they aren't right in your face). Obviously, it varies depending on where you are in the world, but don't take for granted that you don't have it. I would have assumed my state was one of the better ones on this front, but in some ways it's one of the worst.

Moreover, making statements like "Well, at least it's not as bad as it is in actual terrorist factions" just seems pointless to me. Okay, great, we win the "Not as bad as Boko Haram" Award! Now let's start making this world a safe place to live in.

Everyone agrees that rape is bad. But when it comes to actually enforcing that basic rule, suddenly everybody's seeing gray areas. This woman clearly lied, she probably wanted it, she probably just changed her mind afterward, this isn't even real rape, etc. There's some good reading you can do on it. Look up the recent Oklahoma hullabaloo. Look up "When a Woman is Raped in Rural Alaska, Does Anyone Care?". Look up the Jian Ghomeshi trial, especially the essays some of his victims have written about how he got away with it. There was a case with a cop recently who raped numerous poverty-stricken black women because their status and race meant nobody would believe them if they spoke up (and several still did and were predictably ignored before he finally targeted someone with more options than he realized). Hell, look up what happened to the women who tried to accuse Cosby or Woody Allen. The son of Allen put up a great piece about it lately. That's all in the US, because the US is what I know, but my friends in Europe have never given me any impression that rape isn't a problem there, too. I know it was a problem in Chile when I visited.

Discussing the impact of rape porn and reluctance porn on rape culture is all well and good, but getting bogged down trying to work out if rape culture is actually real is a waste of time. Of course it is. Saying it isn't because everyone agrees rape is bad is like saying racism is gone because we have a black president.

I hope

I hope that most people here are American or from the US, that way I would understand the inability to separate fact from fiction (super hero movies for adults, sorry can't understand that). I also hope that most people are quite young so that I can understand the need to take offense for someone else.

The idea that a rapist does not understand that what they are doing is wrong is to me absolutely unfathomable, or at least the idea that we can teach someone to not rape. As I'm not from the states I'm not sure how you talk about the issue, but I have a hard time believing that it is not a shunned act. I'm not saying that it's impossible to make a person who is in a risk of committing that act not do so. These possible rapist must have more problems than just an inclination to commit this heinous act.

On another note, I as a male who read non-con especially of the lesbian sort or with a female as the subservient. Find myself in the real act of sex not enjoying it if my partner is passive, that doesn't mean that my body would disabled my ability to continue, just that my enjoyment is severely decreased.

Anyhow rape culture is such an odd idea to me - here I'd say rape is the second worst crime one could commit just second to sexual abuse of children. If the west had a rape culture I'd be hard to describe what bokoharams (spelling?) culture is. Please stop diluting words, a sexist culture I would understand.

Sorry, I wrote this on a touch screen, so it's all a mess. I hope I offended someone for writing while not on a real keyboard. We are living in pecuruios times.

Powerful!

Another great piece Maxine from your pen. You never shy away from the disturbing or the off-beat; instead capturing it and making it your own... providing the reader with something different that grabs their attention and shakes them by the shoulders. Well done. Kudos! Am humbled by your example. You are very much in touch with your inner Tarantino.

Huh

Equality in one sentence and especially women in the next huh? Seen a sharp decline in population in the US and Canada since roe vs wade or since the advent of female birth control?

HAHA! Too damn funny

You should leave the psychology to the psychologists that might actually have reasonable answers to your questions. This was simply the ramblings of a fool trying to make excuses for those that happen to disagree with her.

Circumcised as An Adult at Age 24

There are various reasons why males are still circumcised - religion, custom (like father like son), hygiene, aesthetics etc. It is a surgical procedure that goes back thousands of years.

I was circumcised by choice at age 24. I had issues with yeast infections and a very tight and short frenulum that would hurt upon erection. My family doctor referred me to a urologist after I went through several yeast infections that did not respond well to either topical or oral antibiotics. The urologist examined me and suggested a circumcision as he said he would have to remove the frenulum anyway, and with a full circumcision I would not get anymore infections as the foreskin would be completely removed. I had considered circumcision already, having done plenty of research on the internet. I decided to go ahead with the full circumcision and he removed the frenulum and widened the urethral opening that was partly constricted due to the placement of the frenulum band right over my urethral opening.

Many in activists have gone to great lengths to talk about scientific research that they claim supports their thoughts that circumcision removes most of the sensitive tissue from the penis, resulting in what many anti-circumcision advocates call "a sexually mutilated penis". What is ridiculous is that there is proven scientific evidence that also says there's absolutely NO difference in penile sensation in either men with foreskin or without. We are NEVER going to agree on sensitivity as it's such a very subjective experience. Some anti-circumcision activists say that the majority of men who were circumcised as adults experience a tremendous loss in penile sensitivity - I would challenge that claim as many other scientific documents are contrary to that claim and challenge the notion that the removal of the foreskin removes the most nerves on the penis. New scientific evidence says there's no proof that the foreskin or the ringed band at the opening of the foreskin contains any more nerve endings than the glans of shaft of the penis. In fact, new studies show that it is the glans that contains the most nerve endings and the foreskin has no more than the shaft. Other reports show that men are saying that there's either no loss after undergoing an adult circumcision or there's actually MORE sensitivity after being circumcised.

As for my own personal experience I find my orgasms far more intense after being circumcised and I can now control my ejaculation timing far better to match my partners.

I am extremely happy and proud to be circumcised and I think anti-circumcision activists do nobody any favors by referring to male infant circumcision as rape, mutilation and sexual disfigurement.

Keep studying, you are on to something.

I have similar interests. I expand the category some to include ritual spiritual sex. If the history major will go back a little further, say to the Sumarians and Babylonians he may learn that there were fertility rituals practiced regularly. These formed the basis of Judaism and Christianity. Many other ancient peoples held sex and fertility to be sacred. It resonates with you because it is deeply ingrained in who you are. These concepts became buried by organized religions and especially the Catholic church in order to have power over the masses. The Gnostic texts hint at how much was suppressed. I have come to believe that we have a spiritual as well as a genetic heritage. Trust your intuition and keep learning. Seek enlightenment on these topics and have fun. I sense that when you wrote you were on the cusp of some amazing truths.
-Blessings

One reason why I am grateful that Literotica has a Comments facility

The conversations and debates can, on occasion, be more informative and entertaining than the stories. When Crkcppr says "I only read this after reading the dust up between Iron Dragon and Swingerjoe in the comments of a LW story" my thoughts are 'I'm glad you did and welcome to this conversation'.

But it is important if we're going to have a decent conversation that each participant ensures they understand what others are saying. Crkcppr's statement "So swingerjoe goes through his litany of reasons why the alternate married lifestyle is , in his case, superior to the traditional monogamous one." I believe is a mis-reading of everything I have ever seen SwingerJoe say. (And I am one who tends to read and agree with most of the things he does say.)

I think what he says can be summed up in 'To each his or her own'. If you're happy with a monogamous marriage and can make it work well for you and your spouse, that's great. If you prefer some alternative to the current norm and can make it work well for you and whomever else is involved, that's great too.

I get involved in disputes with those I call the Moral Brigade who say there is a right and a wrong and everything other than monogamous marriage is wrong. It's not only wrong for them, but it's also wrong for me and for everybody else.

Crkcppr was much more moderate. To quote Crkcppr again "if you want and need that kind of relationship , have at it." That sounds like disapproval, which is fine, but not a statement of 'it is WRONG and you MUST NOT' which is what we get from the Moral Brigade.

Lue

To Ckrcppr

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I appreciate the time it took for you to leave it.

Re. Iron Dragon, let's say that I am a journalist and I am covering a controversial political candidate. One day, I happen to encounter that candidate at a bar, late at night, completely unexpected. He has a few drinks and tells me some things that would make for a terrific story -- but off the record.

If I were to write a column that quoted that politician from our private conversation, that would be not only unethical, but potentially illegal (depending on the interpretation of libel laws wherever this occurred.)

If that same candidate uttered the same remarks during a press conference (or on Twitter or in a press release or any number of other ways a candidate uses to express himself/herself on a public forum these days), however, not only would it be completely ethical to quote that politician word-for-word in my next story, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't.

When Iron Dragon posted his comment on a public forum on a website that is freely viewed by everyone on the planet with an internet connection (and a perverted inclination to visit a site like this), he waived his right to be outraged by having his comments reprinted. I didn't misquote him, I didn't desparage his quote, and I paid him no disrespect; therefore, I have no apologies whatsoever.

Re. alternative marriages, I have stated and re-stated and re-re-stated countless times, both within and outside of this article that I don't consider open marriages to be superior to traditional marriages...and yet folks like you insist upon putting words in my mouth, because you believe you know what I think better than I do.

That said, the tradition of marriage is dying. No one can deny that. Young people are opting not to marry more often than not. If they do marry, they do so at a much older age. If they have children, it is either very late in life (in which case, they may have one -- or at most, two -- children) or they have children out of wedlock. The very word "marriage" has been under attack to the point where it has lost all meaning.

The result has been predictably catastrophic. More children are born to single mothers than at any other time in human history. Birth rates have declined in the US, Europe, and Japan, to the point where massive immigration is necessary in order to maintain our various welfare states and entitlement programs. Children born in single-parent households have been found to commit crimes at a higher rate, graduate high school at a lower rate, and generate far less income over the course of their lives than children raised in two-parent households. The economic benefits to society, as a whole, are immeasurable.

One of the reasons given by younger people for their opposition to marriage is the notion that marriage must be monogamous. Perhaps if we (as a society) loosened the restrictions and promoted commitment over monogamy, we would encourage more marriages. Would it be better for all of society to have more marriages and less monogamy? Or fewer marriages and more monogamy? Which is more important: two people committed to each other for life, or two people committed to not fucking anyone else but each other for life?

Re. the study I cited in this essay, I freely admit (and have done so repeatedly) that it's a flawed study and a small sample size. The problem is that no one else seems to have studied the issue of open marriages. I looked. I couldn't find any other research on this topic. If anyone can find a similar study, I welcome your input. My point is that all of the people who leave negative comments about open marriages leading to divorce and disaster are just as clueless as the rest of us.

Re. my username, it is my greatest (and possibly only) regret about joining this site. I am terrible at naming things (which is why my wife has named all of our children.) I came up with "swingerjoe" on a whim, believing it would be interpreted as a double entendre. (I play baseball...and swing a bat.) Instead, readers see that name and make all kinds of assumptions about me -- as you have done on many occasions, Ckrcppr.

Many of my earlier stories were about swinging. There were several stories I felt that had to be told for posterity's sake. After that, for more than a year, I have written stories that are based on real-life experiences, but also include quite a bit of imagination. I pride myself on being an unpredictable storyteller, so if you think that all of my stories involve "happy swingers", you're missing out.

two reasons for reading

Ok , confession time. I only read this after reading the dust up between Iron Dragon and Swingerjoe in the comments of a LW story , and the adamant reaction that Iron Dragon showed upon finding that Swingerjoe had used his Literotica name ( that's a whole other story how we come upon our "handles" for this site) in an essay that purports to explain the swinging lifestyle. I mean who could not help looking at this obvious source of friction between two authors who are from the different " Clans" that make up the LW genre as it is today !
So swingerjoe goes through his litany of reasons why the alternate married lifestyle is , in his case, superior to the traditional monogamous one. I for one am of the belief that two consenting adults can do as they please behind the privacy of their bedroom doors and you'll never hear me say otherwise. But (you could just feel the but coming , couldn't you) , even though SJ in this article says that he doesn't prescribe open marriages for everyone , I kind of got the vibe that deep down , he feels as though he feels them to be evolutionary superior . As if the monogamous ones are outdated and only for the unenlightened of society . I don't want to put words in his mouth , but this was the feeling I got ( could be wrong).
As for the stats he gives , one study does not a truth make ! ( said that in my yoda voice in my head , lol). There are so many ways that a single study can be skewed to have a certain outcome that the authors of the study want , that it is statistically invalid. Do you want the FDA approving medical drugs and procedures on the findings of a single study ?
Now I said in the heading that there were two reasons for reading this essay. The second reason being that I have never read anything that SJ has posted , because the name alone tells me his preferred storylines , and that infers that I wouldn't enjoy the work ( yes I'm from the other Clan in this genre). I have no reason to throw cold water on anyone else's proclivities , or on their likes or dislikes when it comes to this subject . But it seems that SJ purposely comments on LW stories that are outside of his obvious pleasure zone. I do not understand his reason for this , unless it is to foment discontent for that sides readership. I maybe wrong about his reason for doing that , and frankly I hope that I am.
My own personal feelings about the whole open marriage debate are kind of simple , if you want and need that kind of relationship , have at it . It would be much simpler , IMHO , to not even marry in the first place and just cohabitate together since the civil union and Common Law rules of each state would already cover the legalities of the couple and not infringe upon the institution of Marriage, which the Alternative lifestyles seems to give the middle finger to . But , that's only my opinion for what it's worth.
And as far as scoring this, I believe that I'll treat it as SJ does his LW stories and just pretend that the scoring is turned off.

More thanks

Thanks to erotichajj, GigglingGoblin, and the latest Anonymous for these excellent comments. It's absolutely true, Anon: reading is its own reward. And everyone should run over and read the Goblin's essay on Sexualizing Rape. It's excellent, and it totally deserved to win this category (in which the voting was in essence a coin flip).

Time spent reading, writing, and listening is never wasted. Good read or bad read doesn't matter much. Reading in itself is peace. Art in itself is perfect.

100% approval

Selena, I enjoyed your article. It was well written and thought provoking. However may I give you a different slant? MEN NEED PORNOGRAPHY. Yes, I will explain. Women can participate in sex even if they are not fully willing. However men must be in the mood otherwise they cannot maintain the erection. When a man thinks he is losing it he images a sexual image. Even when he is going to climax too early he will imagine something else. A lot of men's sex goes on in the brain. As men age they lose these images and need pornography to keep the imagination fresh.

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