342 Times

a fleeting comment

one of those that you acknowledge and then let go

A sliding doors moment

that without any idea you could miss…completely

but for a moment

you invest just that little bit more

you listen you hear you…connect

a seed

a bud

a moment

We converse

We exchange

We connect

Without admitting any underlying sense

At what point does it happen?

When does it ‘click’?

This

This is my person

No logic

No rhyme or reason

It. Just. Is.

Chest flutters

Breath catches

Bottom lip. Raw.

I can’t explain it

You can’t explain it

You make me breathe deep

Ache builds

Heart races

Is this real?

Can I just be me…with you?

Plunging into vulnerability like one of those ‘Benefits of Ice Baths’ documentaries

Breathe

Gasp

Breathe

There is no pushing my body to limits beyond

Your presence does that on

…and on

Hearing you

You breathe

You talk

You pause

You…exhale

I open and expose

like your bottom lip, I am raw

I don’t do this

Hurt before

Shields up

Keep something for me

But then, fuck it

This could be something…let’s dive in deep

And dive we did

And you saw me

I let you in

You said I was your reprieve

We were an oasis

A retreat

A brief relief for each other in a time when we sought

refuge

comfort

connection

and

a craving to be seen through the eyes of an unconditional lover

who we may never meet

but who’s voice and words

gave us sweet, such sweet…aural treats

we danced around it

This thin veil

Cautious

Yet replete in a sense of comfort

Our private retreat

And an admission of that thing we call love

in the moments from there on, it was everything

We wallowed

We wandered

We indulged

we

loved on each other

intensely

intimately

vulnerably

without any kind of guard or wall or inhibition

Then the non gendered keeper of time appeared

We knew our time was finite

A fatalist position should have cushioned my fall

Silly heart still continued to give its all

you left

you said you wouldn’t

and despite my language of hurt

you. still. did.

And yet, your mellifluous timbre still lulls me to sleep

I swing from complete surrender to ‘I can’t believe I gave so much of me’

My masochistic heart is it’s own undoing

As I continue to wallow in the bliss that we shared

I treasure our time together

We connected, we loved and we cared

Ever mine

Ever thine

There is no resolution to this

But I know there will be a time when

I will once again be able

to appear from behind the veil