50 things about the man who's 50

A true Devon native,
This man is creative.
He's loyal, dependable
Flexible, bendable
Easily upsendable.
He speaks like King Charles
He's the best man for marles!
A true Tory toff
Who often nods off.
Dozy and Nosey,
Exuberant, Tolerant,
Dutiful, Beautiful,
A bit of a lad,
But a good gentle dad.
His twinkly eyes
And extra-thick thighs
Means he's sometimes a hit with my friends.
He can be rather rash
But he doesn't smoke hash;
Wild dancing's his pill
Or he's first up a hill.
A mad pogo dancer,
A high-risk chancer;
At night a car-spinner,
By stealth a heart-winner.
He just never slacks
And won't ever hit back;
He sleeps like a baby
He drives like he's crazy
His wellies are muddy
He's no fuddy-duddy;
His wellies are dirty
He acts like he's 30;
He can be quite flirty
When dressed up and merry.
He keeps off the sherry
Whisky, perry and very strong booze.
He hates milk but he's
Omega-rich and semi-skimmed,
Cultural and very strong-limbed,
When he's in the mood, he likes to be.... hymned!
My hairy man, my dairyman
You do get besotted, now you've got me clotted;
You churn your own butter and make my heart flutter
Your puddings are creamy, your ice-cream is dreamy,
You lead me in your milky ways; we share together silky days,
You dream without stop; you're the cream of the crop!
My farmer, my charmer, my man of good karma,
His milk is cooler than Mister Obama,
He's nearly as kind as the old Dalai Lama.
A bit of a monkey, he's funky, hunky and spunky,
If anyone can, Jeremy can -
In all respects, he's a gentleman
And here's where my tribute finally ends -
I know that he's loved and has wonderful friends.