- Non-Erotic Poetry
- A Good Question
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Click here"Is he in, out or indifferent?"
She meant her boss, of course, but
it made me wonder
which I was. I mean
I want to be in (who doesn't?) but
how far in is too far?
Do you notice the growing lack of air
and space and light?
Are you aware of drying up and
slowly suffocating?
Out isn't just not in, oh no:
I could be out of it (have been),
on my way out,
out of the loop, my
tiny mind or
to lunch, and
I'm often on a limb,
standing or rageous, but fear
being cold and
dread being left.
Pursuing all these ins and outs leaves
little room for indifference: I will give it my
full attention when I'm
dead.
- COMMENTS
Maria2394about 13 years agoconstructive crit, just wanted you to know I enjoyed your poem. The title is terrific and fits perfectly with the content :)
~ maria
vrosej10about 13 years agoWell written but didn't do it for me but judging by the other opinions this is me.
UnderYourSpellabout 13 years agowell who would have thought a poem could be written about in and out? very clever I applaud you
Angelineabout 13 years agoyou find a point and expand and expand on it and from it the poem is born. It's glib but also true though I'm not sure how much I like those last few lines. But they do set the rest of the poem in a proper persepctive so I guess they belong there. :-)
buttersabout 13 years agoOut isn't just not in, oh no:
I could be out of it (have been),
on my way out,
out of the loop, my
tiny mind or
to lunch, and
I'm often on a limb,
standing or rageous, but fear
being cold and
dread being left.
clever little word games that scurry around inside the head, gnawing, rat-like....
of course this is a knock '-' 5!
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoI left an awesome comment with all types of analysis and it aint here!
Okay, here I go again....
&*%$#!@
My first thought was that of one's role at work, what does one do? If you are part of the team--the accepted--does that make you the suck up yes man. I hardly see that from you, friday. Knowing the bits about you as I do, it seems to me you are the one on the outside looking in and questioning all--then people turn around and LISTEN. Some tell you to shut it, but smart ones hang on each word, percolate meaning for a bit, then draw their own conclusion.
Now all of this has nothing to do with the poetic quality in this piece, point being--if poetry is also to stimulate reflection, what this piece did to me, accomplished that task.
Again, you rarely disappoint. Your stuff is always different--like a little prickly cactus thorn in my butt.
