A Prayer

It’s so bloody unfair,
feels like I'm on a treadmill, running but not getting anywhere,
so in my despair, i do something rare,
stare up at the sky and say a silent prayer,
please God i hope you're there,
I hope you've got a moment to spare,
this won’t take long i swear,
if you could just take a second to listen to what i have to say here,
I know i haven't been regular to date,
but recently I’ve had a date with fate,
and let me just state she's left me in a state,
that i cannot even begin to contemplate,
to the point where I’ve started to appreciate the situations she can orchestrate,
manipulate my life in ways i cannot even articulate,
and obliterate any notions normality applied,
I’m just a puppet that’s been strung along for the ride,
like a spectator i just watch from the side,
as she so meticulously destroys my pride,
freewill doesn’t feel so free any more,
the choices i make seem to be predetermined from before,
even though I’ve been giving it my all for the past few years or so,
I’m always looking at the world from six feet below,
blow after blow, don’t know how long I’ve been taking these hits for,
I want to run away but I’ve got nowhere to go,
fingernails against the door, slumped down on the floor,
vacant eyes with no tears to flow,
more and more, I’ve been questioning whether i can continue to run this show,
crippled to my knees, emotions wreaking havoc as they please,
feelings such as these, are not so easy to appease,
squashing hope with such ease,
tipping me over with just a breeze,
even the universe agrees,
I’m just a leaking boat in rough seas,
I wonder, how long before i blunder and go under,
how long will i continue to remain strong,
how much longer will i weave these useless feelings into a worthless song,
it’s just a matter of time before i capsize,
sink to the bottom where no hope lies,
I’ve given up counting the number of tries I’ve given to rise,
I made some mistakes and i guess I’m now paying the price,
because hope is nothing but a token,
dreams are only meant to be broken,
I have not one wish that has been left unbroken,
been rudely awoken, gaspin' and chokin',
millions of desires left unspoken,
wilting and dying in the midst of an ocean,
no discernable emotion in this endless commotion,
what is this notion that you must not give a portion but your entire devotion to set into motion a.....
Okay, you know what big guy, I’m sorry but this rant has gone on for quite a while,
it’s not my style to pile my issues into anything worthwhile,
so while i wait for fate to go and fetch my file,
pending trial,
I’ll once again go the extra mile and face the world with that big fake smile.........
Amen...