Again

I was over you.

I had tucked you away
in a corner of my memory,
in the cool, dark place
where old friends and
adolescent crushes
linger
in faded, nostalgic dreams
like benevolent ghosts.

I had learned to think of you
with warmth,
not heat,
with affection,
not breathless,
giddy desire...

if I even thought of you
at all.

And even though
I sometimes missed
the way my pulse
would leap
and flutter
beneath my
tingling skin,
the way my breath
would catch,
the way one warm
whisper against
the shell of my ear
would quake through me
like a sweet orgasmic
ripple of need…

I was glad to be free.

But now
now….

I see you again
and the flutter
in my chest
silences my breath.

I feel your hand
as it slips over mine
and I wonder how
I lived so long without
this touch.
I hear your voice
and it's like
coming home.

I should say no,
and you should say no,
but when your mouth
finds mine
and your arms pull me in
I am nothing but need
and heat and
desperate,
molten desire.

My hands fumble
to find your bare skin,
my fingers tear
at buttons and fabric
to get to you,
to feel you again,
to possess you
for a moment
for an hour
for a lifetime
for however long
I can have you.

Just to taste you again,
just to sink to my knees
and worship you,
just to feel your
heat on my tongue
and your pleasure
in my mouth
and hear your cries
as I bring you
again and again
to that place,
our place,
where we neither of us
are free.

Where I am over you
and you are over me.

And where we crumple the sheets
and scatter the blankets,
rolling and tumbling,
thrusting and taking,
biting the pillow,
gripping the headboard,
panting as we fuck
with our eyes as surely
as with our bodies,
our skin slick with sweat,
our limbs entwined,
our mouths meeting
again and again
until that cool, dark place
where our memories have lived
alights again
and is consumed in a
star burst of pleasure
and pain and
explosive desire
until we collapse.

And through panted breaths
and slow smiles
our wise eyes
tell each other
in ways no words
ever could
that we will never be free
and will always,
always,
be back here

again.