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Click hereStill alone. Read and reread the last conversation with a man I loved. Still love. For whatever reason. I wish I could just turn it off, that deep longing desire. I'll never forget the night he held me. I haven't been held in eleven years. I need a long hug from someone trusted. There are very few. I talk to myself all the time and try to tell myself things will be fine. The day to day gets rough, the same bad habits, the same face in the mirror. I've been here two and a half years. The same obligatory good mornings and the same cordial hellos.