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Click hereFighting dry lips and ashy elbows. Meditations to keep sane. Still wonder what I did wrong sometimes. Long thoughts about tattoos, spiritual love making, and rape. Less smoke, less pills, no drinking. My hair has gotten longer. My emotions are still high. Thinking about Austin alone. No chance of pregnancy anymore. Trust is at an all time low. I still think of big tall you and your predilections for broken women. I'm afraid that physically no one will compare to the beauty you exuded. Your breathing was long exhales of ozone. Inhaling was my medicine. Hyperventilation when I was both afraid and aroused. Kissing you everywhere but your mouth.