Comstock Laws

Anthony Comstock: Anti-body Crusader

So silly, it’s true,
All our laws that are blue,
And their bluing was a scandalous deed.
It came as a shock
To Mr. Comstock
That his interests could be prurient, indeed.

So to combat his guilt
He fought to the hilt
To force pious notions on us.
So righteous and pure
This zealot, I’m sure
Was really not so virtuous.

For one hundred years
He gave us all tears
As he tried to outlaw the body.
His Comstock Act
As a matter of fact
Made our flesh either sinful or naughty.

As a postal inspector
And our morals director
His vigilantes were pious and cruel.
They attacked nudes in the arts
And their pop counterparts
And what teachers were teaching in school.

They made the body obscene,
Do you know what I mean?
It was all a sanctimonious mess.
They burned books in their zeal,
It just didn’t seem real
And their power was near limitless.

But now he is dead
As we move ahead
But others come to take up his cause.
To label obscene
And morally unclean
And to criminalize our bodies with laws.

Is this warning clear?
We have plenty to fear
From crazy zealots like Anthony Comstock
They are striving to win
Their own war against “sin”
As they endeavor to turn back the clock.

Whether Wildman or Keating
Give our freedoms a beating
Their motives are pure obliteration.
And so go our rights
(Like King Arthur’s knights)
Because ending sex is their preoccupation.

So silly, it’s true
All our laws that are blue
And it was Comstock who started it off.
So take up the cause
And fight these damned laws
If you’re one who likes taking it off.