Control

I never wrote you a poem before.
l truly felt like l could tell
Every thought that crossed
My mind, to you.
I assumed
It was love, or the fucked up
Version of what I'd deserved.
Finally knocking my door up
Or rather, breaking through
All the boundaries l'd put up.
Deep down, l knew what it was.
I denied accepting it till tonight.
You saw me for who l was.
A mere weakling, stumbling
through life.
So you took the one thing I got
Freedom, l once thought
nothing about.
I enjoyed it, or the idea of it
Still, l suffered a whole lot.
But never, ever enough.
Either l wasn't eating enough,
Breathing enough, smiling enough.
Talking over you, sulking too much.
Crying all the time, worrying a ton.
I was consumed by you at nights.
You came like a ghost, standing over
My corpse of a body, watching intently
Whispering your desires into my ears
Making them bleed, covering my mouth
So l couldn't scream.
Taking away
The ability to dream.
In mornings,
You turned into a paparazzi, following
My every move, and how my body looked
Taking all the pictures, you humanly could
Critiquing how l stood, directing my poses
Giving thorns when l was asking for roses.
More restricting than tightly-laced corsets,
Your commands were.
Sir,
l was so sure
You were an actual monster,
l had wished into becoming my reality.
And for you, l was a little toy,
You were growing tired of already.