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Click hereThe dark earth lies content beneath my curves,
inert, I lie and dream, keeping the loam
a place of repose, quite cold, but it so serves
the season and is suited as a home;
For I must wait to please and be quite keen
to delight and regress to someone used
and exercised quite freely in the clean,
chill air that winter brings - cool but abused;
I do adore the bed he's dug today;
I'm privileged to raise my haunches, when
he barks the command and insists I play;
I'll moisten, so he can slide in again;
He'll heat his hardened member in the berth
my naked quim provides on his dark earth.
Interesting S.O. if you’re familiar with Greek mythology or are willing to read a little bit about Persephone.
“Quite keen” and “quite cold” as well as too many “ands” made the lines feel forced to me. Your sonnets (for me at least) are typically more melodic. I also wondered if more soft consonants and 3 syllable words would make the poem sound better to my ear. The one 3 syllable word I read, “exercising,” still had a harsh sound to it.
Still, the last couplet was excellent, suggesting passivity, dormant winter on the one hand, and the inevitability of moist warm coming of spring. The word “quim” was a wonderful alternative to the vulgar terms so often written in “New Poems.”