Divorced Parents

A/N: A Huge thanks to MsNatalie99 who edited this poem into the stanzas you see now. Writing this poem was hard, and it was prompted by a simple friendly discussion with someone about swimming, of all things. I remembered a dream I had for a moment, when I was about 6 years old, of becoming an Olympic swimmer, but those dreams were quickly dashed because of my parents’ fights in the courts. They were already divorced by then, but ever since the divorce took place until I was 16, there were huge custody battles over me. Even now, 30 years after the divorce, it still affects me on some days. Not too often anymore, thank goodness, but those whose parents are divorced, well, you know my pain and the pain of this poem.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Please tell me,
Did you ever think about me when you were ripping apart my dreams?
Did you ever think about me, when you were fighting in court?
Did you ever think about me, when you were battling over who got more time?
Did you ever think about my dreams?
Did you ever think about what I wanted?
Did you ever think about what I needed most in the world?
Did you ever think about what you were doing to me?

Did you ever think about what sacrifices I was making to keep the peace with you both?
Did you ever think about the cost to me?
Did you ever think twice about your vows before breaking them?
Did you ever think about keeping your vows?
Did you ever think about fighting the divorce?
Did you ever think about the reasons why you got married before you divorced?
Did you ever think about the love you once shared and wonder if maybe you should try to keep it together for me?

Did you ever think about my hopes?
Did you ever think about my future?
Did you ever think about me?
Did you ever think about my feelings?
Did you ever think about how hard life would be for me?
Did you ever think about what I wanted most from life?
Did you ever think about how you were tearing apart the one person you were supposed to protect most in the world, me?
Did you ever think about how much influence you would have over me?

Did you ever think about how rotten I’d feel when I couldn’t please you both?
Did you ever think about how divorces ruin children’s lives?
Did you ever think, even for one moment, about doing whatever it took to keep the peace in your child’s life? Did you? Really, did you?
Did you ever think about why I never had the normal dreams every child should have?
Did you ever think about what life I would lead,
Too afraid to get married?
Did you ever think about how messed up I’d grow up to be? Because of you both?
Did you ever think about me, Mom and Dad, when you made your vows?

Did you ever think about me, in the darkness of the night, and wonder how you messed up so spectacularly?
Did you ever think about how vows were made to be forever?
Did you ever think? Did you ever think? Did you ever think?
Did you ever think for one second about what you were doing to your only kid?
Did you ever think about me, Mom and Dad?
Did you ever think about giving me more friends my own age?
Did you ever think about what your fights were doing to tear me apart?

Did you ever think your divorce would influence someone?
Did you ever think about why married parents with kids stay together until their kids understand?
Did you ever think about the sacrifices I would have to make for you both?
Did you ever think that I would have to escape into my own made-up world to escape my life and to feel better about myself?
Did you ever think about me, Mom and Dad?
Did you ever think about what you were doing to me?
Did you ever think about how a person’s life is influenced by their childhood in some way, shape or form? Did you ever think about me, Mom and Dad?
Did you, did you really?

Dearest Mom and Dad,
I’m stuck in a relationship that’s goin nowhere on the outside,
But everywhere on the inside and fulfilling most of my dreams.
And I blame you both equally for my messed up childhood.
I never had a proper childhood cuz of you both!
Oh sure, you both tried your best, but you know how sometimes your best just ain’t good enough.
It really wasn’t in this case.
And I can attest to that!
Oh, please, please tell me that you thought about me and the consequences at least once or a few dozen times!
It would make me feel ever so much better!
Some people overcome their past, some struggle with it, some get lost in their past. I’m struggling to overcome it, but let me tell you, Mom and Dad, it ain’t easy.
I’ve taken forever to get my degree, but I’m finally getting it in a year!