drifting

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captivatingly cruel
she draws my eye
frigid yet frail

sun-drenched distraction
oblivious to her
blinding beauty

perilously pristine
peppermint pane-cicles
drip drop from frozen lips

crystal blood
from an icy heart
on ivory eaves

so like my hope
melting in the winter
of passion's promise

~ ~ ~

[Finalist in the 1st (Unofficial) Monthly Poetry Contest as outlined on the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum – the challenge being to "[W]rite a poem with a winter theme and find a way of working the view from your window into it." See http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=309230 for details.]
~ ~ ~

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10 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozover 16 years ago
~~

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 38,000 poems.

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mismusedmismusedabout 19 years ago
Mmm, baby!

Pane-cicles? Passion in the winter gone awry? Do I remember correctly? Wonderful poem, Imp. A professional writer expanding her realm. I like.

My Erotic TaleMy Erotic Taleover 19 years ago
drifting~

Impressive~

I too picked this poem <grin>

I am impressed, had no idea who wrote it

but I loved it, ...drifting an excellent

#1 POEM for Janurary <grin> chilling

I meant drifting~

great job~

AnonymousAnonymousover 19 years ago
Hook!

Isn't that what you say? especially loved:

"...crystal blood

from an icy heart

on ivory eaves..."

beautiful.

cookiejarcookiejarover 19 years ago
Sigh ...

To write poetry like this is a gift. Wonderful Imp!

sandspikesandspikeover 19 years ago
Nice to see this out and about.

I'd said this is IMPRESSIVE....but u already knew that.

Drifting was my favorite.

DeepAsleepDeepAsleepover 19 years ago
Tweedly-neat!

Enjoyed this! Clever alliteration always makes me grin, and as has already been said, it's a neat little metaphor.

However, I had a question about this stanza:

sun-drenched distraction

oblivious to her

blinding beauty

The line break from second to third line feels off kilter, to me, maybe because the third line doesn't feel like a complete thought. My brain kept binding here, in rereads, so I thought I'd point at it and look confused.

Loved it, on the whole!

~D.A.

minsueminsueover 19 years ago
I must admit

this was my pick of the monthly contest poems, though I had no idea it was yours.

Well done, Imp!

(in case you haven't heard, I'm a whore for alliteration...)

AnonymousAnonymousover 19 years ago
A creative

interesting metaphor, with fresh phrasing. Enjoyed.

WickedEveWickedEveover 19 years ago
~

This is a very good poem! This is cool line: peppermint pane-cicles

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