Ever Again?

It doesn't hurt anymore
What hurt are the memories
They can't seem to go away
Away, repressed in my unconscious

Your softly whispered moans
Around my head they roam
The sound of your sigh
Enough to get me high

Felt your hands sliding over my skin
Whilst you sat miles away
Felt your need deep in mine
You always felt so near
Alas! Then why did you have to be so far?

The smile I saw crawling on your face
A reaction to what I say
So sweet it was
Burst my heart into sparks

Those words exchanged in ecstasy
Which eventually doomed my destiny

So hard to get my mind off you
Like a niggling thought, omnipresent
Each thought I wanted to share
All now remains barely there

Waiting all day
Anticipation peaking at dusk
For you to call up my phone
To talk to you until dawn

Mind racing, butterflies caressing
A dance of my own heartbeats
Anxious, expectant
Never too demanding,
Never too resistant.
It wasn't just physical attraction
Your intellect got me hooked to you

Your kisses so very sure
My response so pure
Pleasure blinding my eyes
Your name, in mute incoherent cries

How you spoke to me
In the afterglow, just as serene
Impressing each notion to my soul
Thinking: it's going to be hard to let you go

Building upon the connection we made
While our clock was ticking in some time and space

Absence now feels heavy
Hard to process, hard to proceed
My thoughts wandering back
To what it could've been

Intuition overwhelmed me once
The great scare of the 'what if'
Never did I try to pay attention to it
Hell! Why had I paid attention to it?

It all came crashing down one day
The ice broke away
Breathing heavy, unbelieving eyes
In one swift, sudden move
It shattered my knowing heart

I understood it all, the explanations
I really did, knowing them to be just
But what could I tell
To my heart who lamented it?

Ending defined, the climax dissipating
Not have courage now, to start something new from scratch

Can't seem to bring up anything else
Your fantasies have left me
I only recall your smiles now
Could you even believe that?

Your conversations have now
Tied me in a never-ending loop
What did you fear, love,
Which made you jump off the hook?

Why did you think,
That I couldn't be there for you?
Could you hear me out once
When all I want from you
Is a chance to re-do?

It hurts, it aches
The tides of hollowness
Does not go away
I swear I try to keep them at bay

Would we ever talk again?
Would I ever feel the same, again?