- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Final message
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Click hereDon't scream
it is only a twist
a gentle scraping
of your soul
The knife goes deeper
yet there is no pain
feelings dead
numbed unsaid
No words spoken
nothing broken
only a heart
beating off the hook
Is anyone there?
Does anyone care?
Don't scream
We'll meet in dreams
It is only a twist
and won't hurt a bit
The knife goes deeper
leaving a message
There is no beep
nothing to rewind
only our souls
forever intertwined
- COMMENTS
LeBrozabout 16 years agoThis poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 39,000 poems.
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duddle146over 17 years agoDeath by loneliness ~ sinking deeper ~ feelings dead numbness sets in. Perhaps - we'll meet in a dream.
dcpoet44almost 19 years agoand i can feel it as if i'm reading it on stage. i dig this bit:
It is only a twist
and won't hurt a bit
The knife goes deeper
leaving a message
***
the message is indeed final in this one.....don
moonblademover 19 years agoThis dark poetry kept me glued to the screen. I love your simple yet effective delivery. Well done, Sack!
sandspikeover 19 years agoThis is next door to getting it done. I didn't like the
4th verse, but loved the rest. It moves like the message.
I thought it was a great use of rhyme and most verses had
a killer line to back it up. Tell me, did you write this
quickly? It flows so well I'd say you kept the same train
of thought the whole time.
Chagrinedover 19 years agoWell done but this is gonna give me nightmares for a week!
Liarover 19 years ago...that those four opening lines had me glued to the screen.
Don't scream
it is only a twist
a gentle scraping
of your soul
Shudder. Good job.
twelveooneover 19 years agowhat movie have you been watching?
I really think you saved yourself by the last four lines:
"There is no beep
nothing to rewind
only our souls
forever intertwined"
"There is no beep nothing to rewind" I haven't heard before; its juxtaposition with "only are souls..." makes it offbeat and original. "forever intertwined" is not, nor is most here.
"only a heart
beating off the hook"
being the exception.
