forever in winter

In the absence of light
i close my eyes to the night

I remember
pale green eyes looking at me
reflecting the moonlight
shining of the sea
warm kisses never wanting to end
beneath water tower hill

         that was summer

         in the fall
walking you home night after night
my heart alight
watching stomp the dried leaves
with absolute glee
ever the fool me
for believing you were mine
the truth just a matter of time
later on we made love   
your eyes dripped tears into mine
the night you asked to have my babies
lost forever in those eyes
never knowing about your lovers
how could I see the leaves were me

    Then came winter

In the absence of light
in the middle of the night
i see the eyes that lied to me
i still stand at your gate
don't know how long i've been there
the ice groans and crackles as i rock on my feet
in the distance the surf roars
and pounds against the wall
yet i feel nothing at all.
the sun is rising
i want to stay but i must walk away
i almost take my own life
tangled in anger and spite
countles  sleepless nights
this took forty years to write
and
I will  forever live  in winter