Gone like October and You

The last days before you left
Stupid, special, raw
Stripped down to our souls for once
After years of pretending
But our clothes stayed on

You rightly kept me
At a small distance
Gentle reminders
In my weaker moments
That there was no way

When you came back
For one last kiss that night
Even though we’d agreed
This would end before it started
I tasted desire on your lips

You’re busy now, far away
Work and family occupy your time
And I think you’re happy
It makes me feel good
To believe that you are

Far away and happy
Is the right thing

We have put our confessions
Someplace safe
I will love the hell out of you
From hours away

Once you caught my eye
Across the table
I swear we said things with our eyes
Things I still couldn’t say
Later when you asked

Once you tried to kiss me
Goodnight
I made an excuse

Once I held your hand
Without meaning to
But I didn’t let go
You didn’t let go either

I will take care of little things for you
When I can
You will still make me laugh

We will see each other
A few times a year

Christmas will be strange
Without you around
We never exchanged gifts,
You and me
You were maybe
Celebration itself
You maybe still are

I hope you think of me
Sometimes
I hope it’s a soft memory
Nothing that hurts
Nothing about distance
Or longing
I am clumsy and
I love you
Remember those things

There are reasons
We will never be everything
To each other
There are reasons
We will always be something

Plans are a luxury
Future is a funny
Thing you can say
We have laughter
And something warm
Across the miles

Try not to think too much
I’ll try too
We’ll sit across the table
From each other again
We’ll catch each other’s eyes
It might be different then
I’ll still wait for it

October and You
Gone for now
You’ll both come around
Again