Gray Lady Love

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The experiences endure are…
there are no take-backs once lived
consider them episodes
narratives in a well lived life

So many reasons why to
though not a hope to be had
too lovely not to pursue
too lovely not to be bed
be the measure
heel to hip
nose to toes
the only price to pay
at the moment
rejection
the first to come my way
her silence
for four weeks
but
try and try once more
than her no turns me away

at last she has but one last card
to play
too old I hear her say
before the looking glass
I strip her bare
to show her the lie she speaks
never too old we see
Lie with me she hears me say

Wrong from a very heated start
a time for discovery
thirty ticks into that first kiss
our time together
our time forever to be had
or…
or until she decides
other wise

I admit my sin
my fall that autumn
for she
Stella
Stella by any other name
another man’s woman
another man’s wife
a man of violence
a man of stature
the dangers double
the intrigue double the need for
a taste of she
the Mother to three
three lovelies whose names will
not be shared
for they are innocent of the wrongs
Stella and I leave in our wake
as we take
to the seventeen steps
a lofty climb given
the weight we bear souls
blackened still…
still
the stairway to ecstasy on earth
taken
that first interlude
naked on the sofa
I feel the change in me
The change in she
I feel Stella shiver when…
her tears spot my skin
at the close once the sin
complete
all is right with her return home
no one the wiser
now broke I
I scatter to the winds
Warm off of the lake

too soon
without she the wound of without
festers
I reach out but she too far from to hear

October
I come on the woman not purely by chance
I’ve been searching
by happenstance
that second first glance
on her return she restores the want
we shared
we share
the feelings locked away
I see she wants
for my warmth
stocking tops
just below the goal
and she
a sun warmed she
a sun warmed old soul
the diagnosis too simply had
often ends badly
but she accepted love
whispered at the hollow
bordered by perfect
blemish less breasts
if you could only see
you’d agree perfection
exotic erotic healthy
you might too want for a taste

Stella proved as nibble
with a dancer’s body
on her back as
on her feet
those muscled legs
those narrow hips
rosy pink lips

November
Though an ill wind blew
ours was a tranquil pause
suffered stoically
for there was promise
on the horizon
promise in the flash
of pale flesh
framed by the lapels
of her blazer
before we parted
she cast aside
the cloth and
the perfect pink
found me agreeable
with a long good bye

December
in a darkened corner
in the darkened office where
Stella stands the test
sweet nothings spoken
softly at twilight at her ear
in a dark corner
she takes me deep
deep as I am able
deep as our fears allow
for she and I have never
not here before ever
with she so without
taken to a new high
balanced there
on the length of my love
for it is love
love that puts me in my place
this place where I come
come to see the beauty of a woman
years ahead by the calendar
the equal of any known before
the scent of her soap
in the air before me
guides me
I bow at her bare feet
I am pulled to olive skin
stretched smooth
taut over
a five foot
hundred pound frame
trimmed slim
nymph like among women
of a certain age
a dainty treat before
long she slips away

Christmas time
I wander through the holiday
for she with family and friend
where I don’t fit
I pray she too lusts
if only for the remembrance

A New Year
I turn a corner in the path ahead
to a new year mislead
surprise shows on Stella’s face
unexpectedly I tread
into her sanctuary
a sacred place
where she takes refuge on those off
days and days off
when all is not right with her head
impurely she notes the danger
I bring so near
for it cannot be otherwise
Once she sees the gleam
brown eyes
looking back hard
Once I refuse to look away
while she hides the flesh
I have come to desire
Once she spies the heart throbbing
at my hip wrapped in worn denim as I
stand before she wondering
our time returned?
the lady remains hidden
hidden and naked
but I cannot see
her nakedness
her shield a the single sheet
at hand
on the futon
the only means of conceal
afforded Stella
to keep the lovely splendor that is she
from mischievous eyes
still I know the shape of things to come
once the fortification falls from her fingers
from the pieces and bits of she I have
had the good fortune to see
gathered over time
the time when timid
overpowered the lust in my heart
and a look proved pleasure enough
sufficient to sustain that lust
buried deep
my joy inescapable as the cloth
slips from her fingers
as the fabric falls to the carpet
her beauty
exposed at last to hungry eyes
I follow her led
propriety abandon
for the want

Oh, my,
I hear exclaimed
like she never saw
before the hard desire
I have for her
the end of us will be hers
to proclaim
when time is not right
with the world with us
for now I understand her
belief said near the start
Love a delusion beautifully wrapped
in delirious desire to conceal
at the moment
a silent affirmation comes my way
by the smirk on Stella’s mouth
replaces the worried pout
for now I take narrow feet
soles pressed to my chest
to bare the elegant curve of her sex
where love is applied
and kisses to her throat
delight

Spring
The season of renewal makes
she and I brave
we color outside the lines
beyond the pale
we flee to a hide away
across the water
for the first
I see Stella in mornings
first bright
gray hairs mussed
brown eyes shut tight
comforter to chin
the scent of our sleepy
sweat still strong beneath the feathers
the scent over whelms the Shalimar
at her throat
behind her knees
between her perfect breasts
I go to her with fresh brewed
I too am over whelmed
I feel the pull
as the fragrances escape
she comes at me
from undercover
flannel-less in red silk
stretched across her chest
to conceal the kisses
left on her breast
coffee forgotten
we take to the cover
the heat
soft kisses
soft served at the junction
where her heart beat resonates
on the tip of my tongue
cannot quell her doubts
or is the refusal
meant to be playfully coy
or a symptom of the candles
on the cake
a number
she unable to ignore

seven months pass
before the numbers
between she and I
put an end to us

Stella may not
always
have love in mind
when she thinks of me
if love is what she once felt
simply put
I hope her heart warms
When she thinks of me

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