I Bought a Gun Today

It was cold this morning
The sky bleak, mood matching
Strangely moving at the limit,
The store not that far
Few words spoken, forms filled
I bought a gun today
Boring model, but heavy in hand
Black iron cold, ruthless thing
With thanks, bullets as well
I have a gun today
Back roads taken, passenger onboard
Homeward bound, the two of us
Misty mouth and foot crunch snow
It’s home no more today
The fireplace embers, no matter
That gun is quiet, no warmth needed
It’s a gun day today
Boots n jacket away
Soft couch, hard table
Friend in hand, it feels hot
It’s blackness slick, vitriol maybe
Shallow air, eyes darting, jaw set
I have a gun today
Raised arm, pointed at TV
Click click, the trigger is quick
Slowly, turning, hefting darkness
Which way would be best?
Under chin, looking up in wonder
Would it paint the ceiling?
Sit straight, raise to the side
Don’t flinch is the thought
With trepidation, menace to the table
Cold fear mixed with sadness
Eyes well, and anger soothes
It would be just one instant
The mess not a concern, fair price
For the void inside to stop its feast
Grab the grip, cold barrel in mouth
No missing here, dam the mess
Click, click, eyes close tight
Stops the flood, heart so loud
Broken, it doesn’t matter
The tears fall, the madness fades
I bought a gun today