I'm Done

I'm done

No more heartbreak
No more lies
No more pretending
That I matter
That you love me most
Or more
Or only
Or enough
No more
spending every minute apart
Worrying
About what you're saying to her
Doing with her
Doing to her
No more feeling jealous angry sick
Whenever she touches you
No more telling you how I feel
To be ignored
No more broken promises
No more broken apologies

Even though I know
That it means
No more of the
most delicious kisses
I've ever tasted
No more strong hands
holding me safe
holding me tight
holding me down
holding my throat
No more
scratching
biting
slapping
spanking
No more
flogger
paddle
belt
whip
clamps
No more trusting you
with my body
and my breath

No more
Holding hands in the car
Warm hugs
Looking in your eyes
Playing with your hair

And no more
wearing your collar

Because you can't give me
the essence of
what it means

You are
supposed to
protect me

And you do
Physically
My body is safer with you
Then it has ever been
With anyone else

And I allowed myself
To fall not only in love with you
But in trust with you

And maybe you didn't understand
The most important thing
I was trusting you to protect
Was my heart

And you have left it
battered
and bruised
and so broken

So no more
No more forgiving you
For not choosing me
For still loving her

I'm sad
And I'm sorry
And I'm done

I was done
And then I came home
And found a dozen roses
From you
And I smiled
And I forgave you

Im glad
We aren't done