Insomnia

It’s two in the morning
The neighborhood is quiet
The world sleeps
But I, I am awake,
Again
My head filled with thoughts
My body filled with …
Nothing
Alone in a bed that is at once
Too hot and too cold
I am restless
Lonely
Yearning for touch
A caress
Hands on my body
Lips on my skin
Sharing space
Oxygen
Time
With someone
I want
The comfortable
The familiar
Feel
Smell
Taste
Touch
Of a lover
A partner
A permanent partner
My forever person
I’m back to daydreaming
That he’s out there
Somewhere
That we’ll find one another
In this fucked up world
Where people no longer
Love one another
They just use each other
A quick fuck
Temporary pleasure
We don’t even sleep together
Anymore
There is no afterglow
Just cum and go
We mate without intent
And go home to sleep
In our own beds
We don’t seek
A connection
We don’t care about one another
As individuals
As human beings
Just holes and cocks
It’s getting old
Fucking for
Fuck’s sake
Has love abandoned us?
Must we seek it out
In the dark recesses?
Coax it to us
With gentle whispers?
We aren’t like the others
No, we’re different
Better
Those who trust,
Who love first,
Opening ourselves
Exposing ourselves
To the possibility of
Repeated heartbreak
We don’t learn
Do we?
Thrusting our souls
At anyone who so much as
Glances our way
Desperate to be loved
Accepted
Acknowledged
Why do we settle
For anything less?
We give our bodies
Hoping to find
Something real
Only to be left
Unfulfilled