Jealous

You went out
With a guy friend
To a bar
To see the band
With the girl
You want to
Fuck

You don’t tell
Either of us
Until the last
Minute
You are
Nonchalant
Hoping
We won’t
Care

We care

She is
Simmering anger
I am
Sad jealousy
We pour drinks
Watch you get ready
Tell you to have fun
And console ourselves
With bourbon and girl talk
While you are gone

You come home early
Tell us you met her fiancé
We simultaneously
Roll our eyes
I ask her to take me home
She does

Soon after
I get home
You text me
Tell me I’m
So
Fucking
Hot
I text back
You’re so
Fucking
Drunk
You respond
Not at all
I’m just more
Attracted to you
All the time
I roll my eyes again
And do not reply

The next day
While we are hiking
Alone in the woods
I ask you

Does her fiancé know
You want to
Fuck his girl?
You laugh
He knows
Everyone
Wants to fuck
His girl

Wow
I say
You didn’t
Even try
To deny it

Why would I?
You say
I want to fuck her.
She’s hot.
Do you want me
To lie to you
About it?

No
I say
My voice
Laced with hurt
More broken hearted
Than I have any
Right to be
I don’t want you to lie
To me
I also
Don’t want you
To want
To fuck her

And I realize
Yet again
As you laugh
Reach for my hand
Smile at me
And wink
That what we have
Is way more than
It started out as

At least
It is
To me