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Click herepity these memories
drunk from a well of ghosts
a still and silent sea
in ink two yellow hosts
one ascends the other
slides then bends
funneling souls
the wind picks up
it's bitterness turns
glass back into sand
a turned man comes back up
cold tears streak his cheeks
he is not returning home
to a house no longer there
this moment unlike any other
will never come again*
* In another context, this is essentially the declination of mono no aware (literally "the pathos of things")
however as a concept it is often used regarding the transience of beauty i.e. the cherry blossom festival.
Wabi-sabi is another concept that has a literal meaning that applies, but culturally differs.
"Time is kind to things, but unkind to man." - proverb
Powerfully written! A painful memory, a climatic moment -"bitterness turns glass back into sand" (a glass shattering? or time in an hourglass revisited?). Lastly, "a turned man", recognizes that things will never be what they once were. Amazing how much clarity (and creativity) pain can render. Beautiful, even in its raw emotion.
*softsmile*
i said "could".. not should
those lines obviously mean a lot to you
hauntingly subtle.. first stanza extraordinary, but both sets of seven.. like brushwork calligraphy on thinnest rice paper.. and then
you pull out your neon highlighter with those last two lines
you could.. lose those entirely and simply move the last three words of the previous line down in their stead.. saying basically the same thing.. austerely
.. no longer there
I had to read a few times before I got the gist which is a good thing, make the brain work instead of just skimming through the wasteland of the recent pseudo poem submissions
I agree with WBY. The reference to wabi-sabi actually confused me because I've always regarded that as the presence of beauty without some idealized notion of perfection. I think the poem, inclusive of the last two lines in italics without the asterisk and subsequent explanation, gave me plenty to imagine.
Though, I think your explanation at the end took away from my reading experience.
proofing is a bitch, always that little blind spot, even though that line was changed 3 or 4 times.