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Click hereQueen Elizabeth died; I did not know her. Two of my uncles and my aunt died recently. When it comes time for me to go, I hope it is peacefully. I wonder why we have to fall apart with age. Not that living forever is ideal. I wake up, I shit, I clean, I smoke, I call my father and mother. I text my daughter. I think about all the awful things I did as a mother. I watch my face in the mirror. I sometimes cry when I see the streaks of white in my hair. I work three days a week to break the monotony of home. I don't get my hair done. Neither my nails. I shop only when I need something.