Live To Find Me

These words…

(Cough. Cough.)

I’m sorry.
Allow me to catch my breath and clear my throat.

(Ahem.)
These words that you ask me
to say to you now mean nothing.
They are to be swept by the wind and taken
to the furthest corners of the earth to rest
  in the shadows of highest mountains,
  on glacier ice caps,
standing atop the waters of Kalambo Falls,
  and at the base of mighty Sequoias.

(Cough. Cough.)

Please…
Come closer as this voice grows weak
  and the pen runs dry of ink to finish
the final pages of this my last chapter.  

(Cough. Cough.)

These three words mean nothing.
It’s in the way that we lived.
It’s how we loved.
Listen (Cough. Cough.) to me.
It’s in these last few nights of you
  holding my hand
  and catching rest on a hard hospital
  couch.
It’s to jump awake if I moan.
It’s to cry silently when you think
  the pain and drugs have knocked
me into deafening sleep.
  (Cough. Cough.)
That’s love.

(Cough. Cough. Cough.)

I won’t say it.
I won’t give it to you.
Because…  (Cough. Cough.)
I know you.
I know the one I love.
And…
  Only one light should dim
     to a soft end tonight.
        Not two.

You want to hear (Cough. Cough. Cough.)
  those words from my lips?
Chase the winds.
Heed my directions.
Chase the wild winds and catch them!
And then you will find me,
eagerly awaiting your arrival,
so those words can rush to your ears
and honor a life lived.