Louisiana Woman, Minneapolis Man

This poem is a riff on my favorite country song, Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man, as done by Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn. In the song, Conway conquers the mile wide Mississippi River width wise. Length wise is a whole ‘nother issue.

Louisiana Woman, Minneapolis Man: This Damn Big River

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart

My name is John Quota
I was born in Minnesota
I work in a grain silo there
Every February the sleet
Makes me want some more heat
So I head for the Mardi Gras

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart

I was enjoying the heat
Just past Bourbon street
Watching the parade go by
They threw out some beads
I jumped up with ease
And knocked a woman on her thigh

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart

I picked up the girl
And gave her a twirl
To see if she was cryin’
Put the beads round her throat
And straightened her coat
And took her to Pat O’Brien

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart

Her first hurricane
Ended any pain
Another went to her head
We went on to munch
An oyster lunch
And finished up in my bed

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart

A week spent in her arms
Acquainted me with her charms
I never felt so much lovin’
She bewitched me so
What did I know
I wondered if she had a coven

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart

Mardi Gras is our time
It’s certainly no crime
To love just once a year
We know it is not enough
Even though it is so tough
We accept loving others with a tear

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart

She married a guy
T’was not her first try
Whose passion was his Krewe
At Mardi Gras time
His float fills his mind
He doesn’t check if she is true

Louisiana woman, Minneapolis man
We try to get together but we seldom can
This damn big river just keeps us apart
A thousand miles from her Louisiana heart
Even though there’s love in my Minnesota heart