Lovers and Liars

We are at the table,
drinking and laughing
and she says
with an eye roll,
I love you honey,
so so much but...

And even though she said it
in a snarky humorous way,
I wanted to lunge
across the table and
slap the lie
out of her mouth.

How dare she say
those words
to you?

You know
immediately that
I heard it

I felt it

You glance at me
while she is laughing
so so hard
that she's no longer
paying attention
to the conversation
to you
to us

You lean over and whisper
don't give me shit
over something
she said
that I
had nothing to do with

But you know
I believe words matter,
and even though
she didn't mean it,
she said it
and you heard it
so when we are alone,
I ask you

Does it matter?
Does it matter
that she said it?

And you take my hand
and you say
come on babe
stop it
you know I love you.

And I do not have
the heart to tell you
that I also know
that she
has told me
she does not
love you
because I know
the pain
of being married
to someone
that does not
love you and
I never want you
to feel that pain but
I also never
want her
to use those words
just to manipulate
and control
and hold onto something
that stopped belonging to her
and began belonging to me
many years ago.

And I hope you're
smart enough to know
she didn't mean it and
I hope you don't
prove it
by tasting the lie
off of her
tongue