Me and She, She and He, He and Me

I was invited
to a champagne birthday brunch
I needed a plus one
I wanted it so badly to be he
But I knew it had to be she

She has laid down new rules for
our throuple life
And although she gives me
some alone time
with him
She no longer allows it
to be at bars or restaurants
Because he
does not take her
to bars or restaurants
And that is what
tweaks
her jealousy

So
I can be in her house alone with him
I can be in his car alone with him
I can be in the woods alone with him
I can be in my house alone with him
I can be in my bed alone with him

But I can't be
in a restaurant
or bar
in public
with him
And
I sure as fuck can't
take or share pictures of
anything he and I do
together
Because apparently
that shit is disrespectful
to her
Loving him and
fucking him is
fine and dandy
But dating him
isn't

So
when I was invited
to a champagne brunch
I asked
her
to be my date
And she was thrilled

We shopped for outfits together
Bought and wrapped gifts together
Drove to the restaurant together
Clinked our glasses together
Laughed and talked together
Walked back to my car
arm in arm
together

She was the perfect date
Beautiful and charming
With just a hint of
flirtatiousness
I'm allowed to
flirt with her
And I'm allowed to
take her out to restaurants
And I'm allowed to
post pictures of
she and me
out on dates
together
Because somehow
that is not disrespectful
to him
Even though
he and me
doing the same things
is disrespectful to her

So I brought her home
from our date
hugged her and
thanked her
for her company
and left her with
him
And went home
to my house
alone

When I heard
my front door
open
a couple hours later
I smiled
I was not surprised
that it was
him
Because
even though I took
her
on the date
we all knew
he
was the one
who would give me
a kiss
good night