- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Moon Scars at Saccarappa Falls
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Click hereFactories mock in sin the path where
the brave chased salmon upstream,
fish climbing rock falls where
brick now crumbles under
flowers and spring milk moon.
The corn planting stalks soon cut
for great armies that walked the seas,
fires burning their huts into stone.
Blood legends still dance in the flames,
for the smoke to scar the moon.
- COMMENTS
DeepAsleepover 19 years agoI don't have to tell you how much I like your poetry - I've already done it.
I don't know if it's because the poem's so short, but I can see the whole progression of destruction in time-lapse, in my head, right behind the words.
Excellent, JD.
~D.A.
BlueskyBeautyover 19 years agoi had to read it through a couple times..stunning choice of words..you made me work hard for understanding..reminds me of eve.
when i have a moment i'll going to send you write you in regards to your comment about my poem..i do appreciate your insight. ty!
PatCarringtonover 19 years agoi would have broken some lines and stanzas differently / but it would not have been an improvement on this / words are carefully chosen, and eye-opening /
twelveooneover 19 years agoI don't think I've ever seen two better opening lines
"Factories mock in sin the path where
the brave chased salmon upstream,"
and I did notice this before I read your comment, the clash of the opening and the end is incredible - Factories - burning huts
"fires burning their huts into stone.
Blood legends still dance in the flames,
for the smoke to scar the moon."
this more of a question, would you consider moving this, this seems out of time sequence (this is how it is now?)
"fish climbing rock falls where
brick now crumbles under
flowers and spring milk moon."
one more question, you use "into" instead of "to" why?
"fires burning their huts into stone."
the student asks the master
annaswirlsover 19 years agoWow clever use of the moon words! I enjoyed this read. Thanks for playing!
Tathagataover 19 years agoexplanation helped , I did know Native Americans were involved somehow.
Sounds a lot like Lowell. Is this anywhere near Livermore Falls?
I know there were paper mills near there where my aunt lived.
Excellent poem
Sparse striking images
like a strobe light make the death and decay all the more bleak
Nice work
thank you
jd4georgeover 19 years agoAuthorThe milltown in which I've spent most of my life has always been dependent upon the river which runs through it. Saccarappa Falls is where Presumpscot peoples (part of the Abenaki tribe) lived. When the early English came foraging for lumber (the King's Pines being reserved for ship's masts), they encountered the tribe.
Typical of our "white man" history, they wanted the lumber... so they convinced the tribe to move on by burning their huts and killing those who objected.
Lumber harvesting was soon replaced with textiles, paper mills and shoe factories... one people again replacing another. All but one of the factories are closed now, and it's on a death watch. That "blood-rich" history now challenges our future.
Sadly, that scenario seems to haunt my life... although I'm never sure which role I have.
sandspikeover 19 years agoit reads easy and I take it in like good advice. I can't
say I understood it all, but I got the idea. The armies that walked the seas, is that the white man? or the people
who walked from Russia way back when?
