My Pain Is Real

He hurt you so much that you feel like you wanna die.
The heart break the pain all the tears that you cry.
He knows you he knows the depths of your soul.
He knows the emptiness of you and what makes you whole.
I ask myself a million times a day.
Do i give it yet another chance or do i walk away?
You tell me what exactly am I supposed to do.
When it feels no matter how hard I try
I just can not trust you.
I wanna believe in you and the things that you say.
The way you appreciate and love me each and every day.
I let down my walls and showed you another side of me.
Someone who I hide away a secret part of me..
A wildflower who wanted to give herself to you in every possible way.
There was always something though that just got in the way.
You were the man I always wanted you to be..
You were loving, supportive even carefree.
All that aside the fact still remains the same.
This Is my heart not some fucking game.
Seeing another woman touch you was like a slap to the face.
A vision burned in my mind one I can not erase.
I close my eyes and its all that i can see.
I’m numb I’m empty I dont know how to be.
I’m completley devistated I’m broken... I’m falling apart.
Here lies the shattered peices of my broken heart.
No matter the circumstance innocent or not you had a choice.
You could of pulled away you could of raised your voice.
You did nothing but just let me watch in  fear.
As all my insecurities became so crystal clear.
I took off the collar and wanted to throw it in your face.
The way you acted and treated me was a total disgrace.
You say I’m all you want and I’m all that you need.
You ripped out my heart did you expect it not to bleed?
It hurts to hate you because of the love that I feel.
What we had was special so sacrid
and real.
So tell me this how do I let you go.?
The answer to this is simple
I just do not know.

 A Poem By Me About Me.