Naked In the Cold Air

Fingers twisted
Up in sheets
I wait
Eyes squeezed shut
I know the rules
Chest pressed
Into mattress

Exposed
Just for you
My skin burns
From the last one
You're silent
I wait
I wait

The sting
Of a fresh strike,
Sharp, and
Before my ears
Register, "smack"
The heat of pain
Spreads
As molten desire
To my belly
You're silent
Still

I want
To grind down
To find touch
To be fucked
But I stay still
And do not ask
I know the rules
Knew them
When I broke them

I was too clever
I knew
If I didn't ask
You wouldn't say no
You'd let me
Do what you'd forbidden
But it was
Disobedience, still

Your breath,
Even, calm,
All you give
To my senses
No touch
Between each
Correction
But you are there

I'm allowed
To know you're there
Accept your open hand
Imagine your desire
Know your love
Or that it exists
Nothing else

You were right,
Love,
I disobeyed
I know
You know
I want
To disobey
Again

But instead,
For now,
I'll revel
In this punishment
And anticipation
Delicious pain
Then
Nothing
Any sensation
Anything at all
From you
Please

Keep my desire
Alive
But wordless
And still
This chastisement
This deprivation
Shouldn't get me
So hot

As ever
You're precise
Firm
Then silent

I wait
And I don't know
Which is worse
Which drives me more mad

I know the rules
So
I walk around
Every day
In the world
Naked
Waiting
You know this
Very well

I broke the rules
You had to be precise
Firm
I know you're there
You're quiet now
Your love
And your disappointment
Hang in the cold air
Between us
And I wait
I wait