tagErotic PoetryNaughty Wedding Limericks

Naughty Wedding Limericks


There once was a young bride from Ecuador
Whose in-laws thought her a bit of a whore
Well, the mother thought her not fit for their boy
Though the husband was torn, because the joy
He'd once found with the tart he'd get no more

There was a professional gal from Bonn
Who decided to wed her favorite john
On her wedding night she was as demure as a maid
But with the deed done she insisted on being paid
He disagreed and is now long gone

A newlywed woman down south in Chad
Thought her new husband not too bad
That man had the knack
Of pleasing her in the sack
In fact, he was the best she'd ever had

There was once a virginal bride from down in Windhoek
Who had never seen a cock, not even one quick sly look
She got quite a huge fright
On seeing it on her big night
But quickly fell in love with it; a little nudge was all it took

There was a sweet young bride from Jamaica
Whose groom proved to be a bit of a faker
It turned out he wasn't even a man
And of lady-love that bride was no fan
So she went unravished, with no cock to take her

A sweet and innocent young bride from Glasgow
On her wedding day was left feeling rather low
She caught the groom with her best friend
And shouted out "Stop this! It must end."
To which he replied "But I've not yet had a blow."

A street-wise, decadent young bride from Bristol
On her wedding night smoked her husband's pistol
She rode the man ragged
Until his cock was jagged
But he drew the line when offered meths quite crystal

A sweet, luscious lipstick-lesbian once went to a wedding
And was surprised by the best man's offer of a bedding
She had always been curious but
Wasn't sure about 'cream of nut'
But once mounted her inhibitions she started shedding

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