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Steam curls from a Styrofoam cup
hot chocolate and marshmallows
stir her saliva. The cherry
chequered table is steadied
by folded cardboard shoved
under one leg,
and Steely Dan plays on the jukebox
down the back corner of Becky’s.
A chair screams, metal on concrete,
as an unwashed body shudders
on cold ground in the alley.
A growing red stain surges
to the storm water and a silver stiletto
protrudes from a fat gurgling gut.
She gulps the milky chocolate,
and pockets the rate he owed.
The imagery works to bring home the pov of the implied narrator with the heightened sensory alertness and irritability as explained at the end. A poem to remember.
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,000 poems.
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This really has an impact. You have a way of showing the picture... in this case almost too well!
Great job, well deserving of the "E"
This one grabbed me allright! Good work, my buddy! I like it a lot!
Boo
But I also realize the first part of your pen name is "wild". lol This is a VERY well deserved "E" basing it on the unusual topic and surprise twist {of the stiletto} at the end. Awww hell - the entire piece was dynamite! I haven't been here the last week and I'm now trying to play catch up with the votes at least, but I came across this poem and just had to leave a comment. Caught- Me- off- guard kind of poem that I'll be thinking about the rest of the day <shudder> lol
Shaking in Her style stilettos~
Vixxx
I haven't been around for awhile and I've just hit upon this. Wonderful straight talk WSO.
b'brig
obscenely graphic and sort of scary, but straightto the point, lol. I like it a lot, I think, but I have only read it about 5 times so far.
I think this has the wrong post date cause I only saw one E on yesterdays list and now there are 2 :)
keep up the good work!!