Pieces of My Soul

Pieces of My Soul

When he looked at me
Deeply truly rawly
With a slow serious smile
And in a lower voice told me
As he pressed his body
Warmly to mine
That he loved me

I felt like someone
Had given me back my soul

As I breathed in his scent
It filled my body
Completed me invisibly
Bonded me to him forever

Then he left
Literally running away
Permanently taking
His love from me
As well as the smiles
Laughter and warmth of us both
Leaving hearts thudding in cold bodies
Purposelessly

The knowledge sneaked into my mind then
That the place deep inside of me
Where we had bonded
So precariously heavy in my heart
Had torn away as he ran
And was gone with him

As I have moved through life
Since that terrible moment
I have felt more of it seeping
Leaking through the jagged hole
So painfully
Awarefully
That it feels like sand
Being pulled through the skin of my wound

Since then
Other thieves have stolen in
Robbing me of handfuls
Even armfuls
Of these pieces of my own soul

Some found it valuable
Hordeing it away from sight
Others found it worthless
Scattering it to the wind
Like ashes
--
Where is the lover
That will tumble me in his bed
Only to discover the pieces still falling away
When the morning light reveals them
As I am moving toward his door

He will stop me
Still staring at them
Then slowly begin
Collecting them in his hands
Carefully
As if they were rose petals
Scattered across his sheets

He will bring them
To where I am standing
Tenderly he will take from me my clothes
He will dare to reach into that wound
So deep and now empty inside me
And begin to ease the pain
By gently filling it in
No matter how long it takes
He will help me gather all of those pieces
Until I am fulfilled

Then rub that place lovingly
Where the first piece had been taken
Until his healing touch
Has smoothed away the scar as well
And I am finally whole
And perfect in his love

Only then will I fall asleep in his arms
Waking in the morning rays
As the reborn do
--
I wonder
If such a man could be real
Or I could be so alive
Or why it is not so

Please
Hear me
My thieves and lovers

Give me back
Oh yes give me back
The pieces of my soul

If you cannot love
Then feel for me
Because I want so desperately
To again be whole