Sacred Saints and Sacred Cows

I told this story to Doubting Thomas
A Shepard with of a herd of Llamas
Who believed every word was true
He lived high on a mountain top in Peru
He said, "No one should return a gift
Once given, unless," he sneered
Casting derision, "a worm had chewed
It’s way to the center of the fruit
Or if the mango was rotten with little flies
No one wants to eat those guys"
I must apologize for the confusion
Thank you for spoiling the illusion
That the Hermit predicted in brief
While chewing on a coca leaf
they say relaxes and relieves fatigue
for those who scale the mountain peaks

The gift that Sally gave to me
T'was her virginity, a bloody saga
She gave it away for nada
In the front seat of an old Ford
Had she chosen a bordello broker
She might have earned from he who poked her
After we tore her sacred skin
She demanded that I give it back again
A request that left me distraught
How could I return what she sought?

Ok, said I, I'll try to repair your maiden head
whose loss has turned Dad's car seat red
Once more Sally assumed the position
I fucked her long and hard with precision
"Did you give it back, the proof of my virginity?"

"Yes, sweet Sally, as you see
No blood has issue forth from thee
And when you marry, just tell your bow
You have a bloodless cunt, you know
This will make your hubby proud
But warn him not to tell out loud
in the local bar or some odd pub
where fellows brag about their nub
of this unique trait, you are endowed,
as the cunts of sacred saints and sacred cows"