Sissy, Never Going Back

Sleepless,
Tempting bucks of wild hips and moans of immeasurable pleasure,
The mattress stained, brain dead little sissy bimbo slut moaning into the pillow,
It's been 7 days since release,
7 days of hypno
7 days of denial
7 days without touching
7 days of femdom porn
7 days of sleeping with a buttplug
And all i want is more.
10 days
30 days
6 months locked, my mind races, pacing up and down my room imagining going up and down a thick strapon.
1 year, and my clitty shrunk to a nub, a button where once a strong, tall tree trunk once stood proud.
Loud lipstick and skintight thigh-high schoolgirl socks,
They have to be schoolgirl socks, because for some reason that makes me hard.
Maybe it's a subconscious thing.
Maybe I wish I was a schoolgirl,
Or just being humiliated by one, or many.
Many is better, many is always better.
With exception to orgasms.
Sissies don't deserve them, and I dream of being a sissy.
Maybe I want a bratty schoolgirl to lock my cock up and threaten to blackmail me unless I wear her micro dress and watch her fuck a real man. As wrong as that is, I cannot deny the thought sends me to space.
Thin and baby smooth, with a throbbing clitty locked away in a cage, my significant other, my lover, no, we don't make love, my mistress, my... mummy, whispering humiliating remarks to me as we walk around.
My nights are spent aroused and awake precisely because I'm not spent, in that "And I'm spent" manner that one uses the word after fucking a woman or man roughly or engaging is laborious work.
I'm frustrated, and in my mind I'm spiraling down, my mistress in her tiara fucking a BBC stud in a crown as I drool, a pink puddle lying between them, my hands on his shoulders as he pounds her.
He looks me dead in the eyes with lustful anger, like a viking on a pillage,
And it makes me moan, I feel like I would cum if he told me I'm never allowed to.
The paradox of sissy life,
Being hard at the thought of forever being smooth and soft,
I literally wish I could cum whilst I'm completely limp.
Being aroused at the thought of never being allowed to be hard again.
Working out just so I can wear dresses and stockings.

And shame is not allowed anymore,
Shame may destroy that light which burns inside,
Shame can kill the perfectly okay urge to shave my legs and spread them wide,
To have a petite bum, plugged with a vibrating cock,
To have abs, but have them decorated in lace and sheer,
To have huge swollen testosterone filled balls, only to have them never emptied, beaten and squeezed by the aforementioned schoolgirl,
On second thought, maybe it's because i didn't have a girlfriend in school, and my cock still wants one.
To have a huge, veiny cock, able to make any woman unable to walk for hours,
Only to have it shrunken over time, put in a cage and panties, and never used.
To have an expertly crafted sword,
Sheathed.
To be a warrior in a garden,
instead of a gardener in a war.

To be an alpha,
In sissy costume,
Playing the sissy character,
Sucking like a sissy...

Never unlocked
Never stroking

Never going back ...