Sleepless Night

Oh Sleepless Night.
I've been fighting authority all my life.
Why you too?
Burning up, drowning in the smoke.
Thinkin of a line I can't quite reach;
The unthinkable of my soul, the unknown.
If I had money I'd have freedom.
Reason and happyness
Love and expression.
Cursed am I with sunken eyes; sunken and dull.
Nervous and scared;
Sick, bored, lonely, doubting, tainted;
Watching. Waiting.
Watch me wait, and for what? What is there left?
Not you.
Sick of my happy face so you'll feel comfortable.
No longer the patience for it;
For you.
The painless existence;
Jealousy stems from doubts of my own.
Am I superior or just weak?
Why suffer all the time? Self-pity?

Oh Sleepless Night.
You are my battleground, my no mans land.
Lock and load. Cocking my mind.
Hidden away behind the doors of my machinegun
Is me. Woe.
Woe to the blotched face, the watery eyes, the downcast sight.
The trembling hand, the long-haired individual, the creased brow.
Those still to learn, burn, flee, hide; those to wait.
I came out of the age where individualism meant power
And learned.
Oops, what now?
Oh my. Oh no, I've gained the silent fear of momentum.
I've gained the invaluable lesson not to learn.
I've gained the freedom of fear, of doubt, of weakness and wondering.
I've gained the loss of hope.

Oh Sleepness Night
Plague me no more, I've had it. I've done it.
I'm done.