Sneezegasm

SNEEZEGASM
by
Tristan Trotsky

how many times in my life have I sneezed?
have I sneezed more times than I’ve orgasmed?
unlike an orgasm, a sneeze never happens once,
it’s instantly followed up by another sneeze,
every time dawn-light slants down through trees
to catch the back of my retina in that particular
way it ignites an explosive nasal reaction,
it’s called autosomal dominant compelling
helio-ophthalmic outburst syndrome, or ACHOO,
it’s also called photic sneezing, where a light source
stimulus excites the nerve system mucous membrane,
I know nothing about such medical terminology,
but it does set me to idly speculation, wondering
how many times in my life have I sneezed?
have I sneezed more times than I’ve orgasmed?
I’ve orgasmed plenty of times, frequently self-induced,
when I’m the beggar at your door, seeking the crumbs of
your generosity, when my mind won’t leave your body alone,
whenever my mind wanders and seems to find its way to you.
but it’s likely I’ve sneezed many more times than that,
so this is what I’ve decided, this is what I’m going to do,
when it comes to that final life audit
I’m going to reclassify each sneeze
as a small nasal orgasm…