- Erotic Poetry
- Some Slow Eddy Where
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Click hereEver my fingers imagine
Your delicate lips, how they part
Liquidly, like the slow wake
Of a flatboat poled up the bayou
Nestling into a bank where snakes
Could not possibly bite. I
Could bite you there, darling.
Yes, there would I bite you.
- COMMENTS
normal jeanover 10 years agoimages. I could envision your trip on the river. The only thing that bugs me is each line beginning with caps, but hey, its a great poem, who cares about caps, right? :)
excellent work
NJ
Angelinealmost 11 years agothis feels like ee cummings meets Neruda to me. The language is so soothing to the point of being mesmerizing, which really works with that last snaky line that comes like danger out of nowhere. Delicious writing and I hope to read more of yours.
twelveoonealmost 11 years agoending last line as just
Yes, there.
I see a case for Liquidly either way
5ed with no hemhaws
Neonuroticalmost 11 years agoI like the image in this poem, I've grown up by actual bayous, those cypress knees covered in lichen. Good poem. However, the word, "Liquidly" reads a little clunky to me, maybe something better than an adjective would move smooth like a snake through the waters.
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoMade me imagine floating with someone I wanted to be floating with. Snake and poled interesting word play.
Nicely done! Hope to read more from you. I don't why my comment's coming up as anonymous; I'm greenmountaineer.
