- Non-Erotic Poetry
- the old ones
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Click heresometimes in the first glint of dawn,
sometimes when clouds and light play tricks,
sometimes in a flash of lightning
or, when very still and aware,
you see them in the deep woods, or
in the fields ready for harvest,
or in abandoned city lots,
standing ready, their eyes open,
but congealed in time's strange amber -
still with appetites, loves and hopes;
still remembering, believing,
dreaming; still dreaming of being.
- COMMENTS
jthserraabout 13 years agoI had read some of your poetry a while back and really didn't latch onto it, but the two I've read today really grabbed me, this one especially. The images you create here drew me, one by one, deeper into the poem, had me searching. Wonderfully done.
jth : )
CeliaisAlienaabout 13 years agoI agree there might be something Lovecraftian here, just as well as abandoned dryads or the Furies or who knows what presences from who knows what band of archetypes-- but all the same, it's unsettling and haunted, like the conspicuous rustlings in one of the less frenzied patches in a David Lynch film. Or maybe like the shuffling ghosts thronging the shores before Virgil's Styx? But powerful, regardless!
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoof the three by far as far as I see through my congealed time.
fridayamabout 13 years agoa classical allusion brough to stark modernity. The lines chip and 1201 have highlighted are of course wonderful, but the last line is outstanding. You don't need the commas in Line 4, and I feel maybe you need a grammatical payoff for the list of "or's". A great poem that repays rereading. Recommended. Ty
twelveooneabout 13 years agomore like a Lovecraft story.
but congealed in time's strange amber -
100 BTW
still remembering, believing,
dreaming; still dreaming of being.
These lines will get you in trouble with the poetry crowd, too abstract, etc. etc.
I like 'em
buttersabout 13 years agoputs me in mind of some stephen king stories, all mixed in with many others of fantasy genre... it's that 'glimpsed out of the corner of your eye' thing going on, the trickery of light
these old ones, they're not cute - their 'appetites' might make me shiver, and not in a good way!
this phrase is one i'd love to have written:
ready, their eyes open,
but congealed in time's strange amber -
still with appetites,
