Waves of Desire

Your heart, babe,
he said,
his head resting
on my chest.
Yeah,
I said,
holding him close
catching my breath.
Take it
as a compliment.
Yeah,
I thought,
You make
my heart race,
my mind race.
I hate it
and you.
I love it
and you.
Dammit.
Every time
I get my head
back on straight,
every time I say
that was the last time,
I can’t love him,
he’s not mine,
you look at me and
every good part of me
disappears.
Your moods crash over me,
stormy ocean waves
dragging me under.
And when I finally
catch my breath,
break free,
land alone on the shore,
knowing you’ve drifted away
yet again,
when I finally think
the storm of you
has settled
you wash back over me,
flooding me,
dragging me down,
pulling me away from
everything I thought
was safe.
Making me
want you
hate you
love you
even as
I drown
in you
with you
under you
yet again.