When You Are Mad At Her

Do not be fucking nice to him!
She tells me through tears,
Her voice tight and clipped
He was so fucking mean to me!
And I sigh
And wonder if that’s why
I haven’t heard from you
In hours
Because you know
She tells me everything
Sometimes I hate it
Because now I cannot
Say good night to you
I cannot tell you
I love you
I cannot tell you
I miss your lips on mine
And I wish you were
With me today
Not her
I cannot touch myself
While thinking of you
Because all I am thinking about
Is her
And how you’re being mean to her
And how I feel bad for her
But glad for me
Because I know
You are not cheating on me today
With her
I wonder if I was the one
In your house
In your marriage
If you would be yelling at me
the way you yelled at her
I’d like to think you wouldn’t
Because you love me so much
Because you love me more
Because you love only me
Not her
And you would never
Hurt me that way but
She is my best friend
And her husband
Made her cry
Which means today
I have to be team wife
Even though I love you
And you yelling at her
Has nothing to do with me
And in a twisted way
I am relieved to know
The day you spent with her
Without me
Was not sunshine and rainbows
And kisses and flowers
I wish there was some
Happy but not too happy space
Between you loving her
Which makes me jealous sad
And you hurting her
Which makes me angry protective
And I wish I didn’t know
If I had to choose
I prefer that you hurt her
Because it hurts me
too damn much
When I find out
That you say and do things
That show you still love her
I have heard from
Neither you
Nor her
This morning
Which leaves me wondering
What happened
In your bed
Between then and now
Did you apologize?
Did she forgive you again?
Did you kiss and make up?
And as much as I want her
To not be hurt and sad
I don’t want me to be
Hurt and sad either
So I am hoping
You did not
Mend what you broke
During the day
In the dark in your bed
Overnight
But I do hope
She gets over it
As she always does
So that I can be
Fucking nice to you
Again