Why Not Me?

I’ve chosen a dark corner,
a safe distance from which
I can watch you perform.

Something about you
draws my attention
over and over.

I’m fairly certain
you aren’t interested
in a girl like me.

But you invade
my thoughts often
and easily.

I’ve watched you with others and
I’ve yearned for that attention
to be mine.

You frighten me,
intimidate me,
but pique my curiosity too.

I wonder if you could bend me,
break me to your will.

I wonder if the polite smile
you humor me with in public
would disappear in private.

I want to hear your voice,
see the change in your dark eyes
when it’s just us, alone.

I doubt you’ll live up to the man
I’ve imagined you to be;
It’s my own fault really.

Some things
are best left
to the imagination.

I’ll stay in my corners,
hiding in shadow,
A life lived vicariously,
fantasies unfulfilled.