Your Anniversary, My Date

Welcome to another episode of the continuing adventures of my throuple life. Yes, this is a topic I write about regularly. If it intrigues you, if you have an interest in the subject or the characters, I invite you to go back to the beginnings and read my poems in date order. And I thank you for following and reading and commenting and supporting my work 💜

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You met him.

In a surreal moment,
Two worlds collided and
You
Met
Him.

You and she
walked in and
You locked eyes with mine
As I leaned on him.
So I sat up and
Moved away from him.
And I was sad.
Because I know
What it feels like
To see the person you
Love
With another person and
Because I’d much rather
Be leaning on
And loving on
You.

As soon as you
Walked in
My entire focus
Shifted toward
You

Even though you had spent
An entire day
Celebrating your life and love
With her.

Even though I had spent
An entire week
Choosing
And buying
And wrapping
Your presents
For each other.

Even though
I had spent
Days
Helping her choose an outfit
And taking her shopping
To look pretty for you.

Even though I took pictures,
Posing you in ways that were
Beautiful and sexy
Making you look like
Lovers
Making you look at
Her
The way you look at
Me.

Even though it
Nearly fucking killed me
To not only see it
But to help it happen.

I still felt nervous
For you to
See me
With him.

He greeted your wife
Who he had met before
Although not with a kiss
As he usually does

And then I introduced you
To him
And you shook
His hand
And I thought
Both of those hands
Have been on me,
In me.

I chatted with you
As I sat with him
Trying to give my
Attention to
Both of you.

I watched your eyes,
Looking for hurt,
Jealousy,
Anger.
But all I saw was
you.
Your eyes are simply
The eyes
That I love
Looking into.

You didn’t stay long.

When you left
He said to me,
You two are close.
And I said yes
She’s my best friend.
And he said no
You and her husband.
You’re close.
And I said yes.
He’s my best guy friend.
And he said,

No.
I think
He’s much more
Than that.

I didn’t deny it.

He left soon after.

So you are home with her.
And I am home alone.
And I don’t know how I should feel.

And as much as I want
Her to be
Happy,
The thought of you
Touching her,
Kissing her,
Fucking her,
Makes me
Cry.

And I knew
I would’ve been a
Complete wreck
Getting through the night
Knowing you were with her
If I was alone
Imagining your hands
On her
Your eyes
On her
Your lips
On her.

So I passed the time
In a way that worked
For me
I used him
To distract myself
From thinking of
You

I wish there were a way
You could make
Both of us
Happy
Without hurting
Either of us.

She’s not hurt
Because she has
No idea
What we are
To each other

And I’m always hurt
Because I know
Exactly what
You and she are
to each other

So I found someone
To soothe my hurt
And it works
About as well as
A Band-Aid on
A gaping wound

I miss you
I want you
I love you

But nights like tonight
Remind me
That you
Aren’t mine.

And sometimes
I just want someone
Who is.