You're Toast!

Pillow to post,
Hopes uppermost.
Then lover hangs up, that's so odd,
It seems you're toast,
You're toast, you're toast.
Shirl's in tears, "Missed my period!"

You're toast, you're toast.
Ain't got a ghost,
A shotgun wedding's on the cards.
Spin on a dime
Wedding bells chime,
You and Shirl go the whole nine yards.

Join the rat race
You find a place
Where Shirl can do birth exercise,
Sell bike, buy car,
Well, there you are:
Second-hand cot, free-ads surprise.

At dead of night
She has a fright
"Baby's comin' now!" hear her shout,
"If we don't go,
"You're toast, you know!"
It's hours later, baby's out.

The babe's your girl,
Image of Shirl.
In muslin wrap, she's christened Gail.
Hale'n'hearty,
Soul of party,
Wet babe's head with jugs of ale!

Let yourself down,
Binge on the town,
Rozzers say, "Sleep it off in gaol!"
"Over the top,
You drunken sop!"
Shirley upset, won't post your bail.

Forget flowers,
Rue for hours,
Your life bites, she ignores your hand.
Shirl wants to part,
"You broke my heart!"
And Shirl takes off her wedding band.

She gets the house,
You cannot grouse.
Deal's rough end: pay her rent and food!
As Shirl's heart's closed,
You're toast, you're hosed.
You miss both girls, you're feeling screwed.

You relocate
To where you hate.
In solit'ry, no-one to phone.
So make the most
Of beans on toast,
A feast for one at home, alone.

A lonely life,
No babe, no wife.
Hard for singles to start again.
With visits rare
It isn’t fair
And Shirl's remarriage brings more pain.

Turning pages,
As Gail ages,
Daughters blossom and fathers fade
"Daddy no thanks,
You give me angst!"
Relationship turns to charade.

Life is a strain
Nothing to gain
When parents are so far apart.
Welcomes are worn
Gail's heart is torn,
Shirley and Gail both break your heart.

Daughter and Mum
Become as one,
No fag-paper in between.
Together they skip,
Joined at the hip.
There's no place for Dad with a teen.

Visits decline,
Gail says, "I’m fine,
"You don't have to come ev'ry time,
"Send me a note
"Sometime," she wrote.
Forgetting he came half the time.

It dawns on you
Have been outgrew,
You're no longer a part of Gail's life.
Worse off than most,
Knowing you're toast,
Stabs into your heart like a knife.

But come one May,
Gail's wedding day,
Aisle and after, you play your part,
You're asked as Host:
"Your toast, your toast."
You rise, once more in your Gail's heart.